My Sex Life Is Fading. Help!
Photo by Jeff Fitlow
Dear Willie D:
I’m a 23-year-old woman, six months into what was once a steaming-hot sexual relationship with a 27-year-old man. We used to have sex three times a day. Now it’s down to maybe three times a week. I’m not sure what happened. We still love each other, but the need to be all over each other every day all day, grinding morning, noon and night, is over.
Is this the beginning of the end?
6 Months In:
Having sex with a new partner is sort of like going to a new theme park. The first time you go, you’re super-excited and amazed by the scope of the landscape, lighting and attractions. Then after you go back a few times, look around a little more, ride every ride and visit every attraction, you become bored with familiarity.
Romantic relationships, of course, are more valuable than a theme-park experience, and are not meant to be strictly biological. The problem is, conflicts and problems affect the desire for sex, so desire and love is important.
Try experimenting with toys, different positions, new things to spice up your sex life. And if he hits it good, take his ass to Red Lobster!
AM I BEING TOO STRICT?
Dear Willie D:
My 17-year-old son is a procrastinator. I told him to mow the lawn, and he could go to his friend’s party. I didn’t just casually tell him, but I emphatically stated, “Do not leave this house without mowing the lawn!” Needless to say, he left without doing what was asked of him.
When I returned home and realized the lawn wasn’t mowed, I hopped in my car, went to his friend’s house where the party was being held and pulled him out of there in front of everybody. The next day I made him mow the lawn, and I grounded him for a month. Both he and his mom think I’m being unreasonable.
But how will he ever learn responsibility if there’s no consequences for his actions?
Parents need to make an agreement that when it comes to one parent disciplining a child, the other parent needs to back him or her up, even if the other parent doesn’t agree. This prevents children from undermining the disciplining parent’s authority. I’ve seen it happen hundreds of times. Kids know the divide-and-conquer game well, and will play it to their advantage every chance they get.
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If there’s no consequences for his actions, it’s impossible for your son to learn responsibility. He needs to know that. Good job, dad!
MY WIFE IS TOO DEVOTED TO HER BOSS
Dear Willie D:
I can’t get my wife to stop at the corner store on her way home to get me cigarettes, but she’ll paint the sky for her boss. When he says jump, her only question is, how high? We had a family function planned one weekend, and her boss called her the night before and asked her to come in.
Just like that, she cancelled our family plans and went to work without discussing it with me. I won’t bore you with details, but she spends too much time at work and not enough time with me and the kids. I’m starting to think she loves her job or maybe her boss more than us. Am I missing something here?
Some people get so wrapped up in their work that they sometimes forget they’re married to a person, not a job. Seems as though your wife has her priorities screwed up. Sit her down and remind her that family comes first. The main reason we work is to maintain our lifestyle and improve the quality of life for us and our families.
In the process, often we fail to realize that no matter how good the money is, if we go all out for our bosses and neglect our spouses, the relationship will suffer and eventually dissolve. We say we work hard so we can support our families, but what’s the use in making a bunch of money and buying all that nice stuff if you don’t have anyone who you love, who loves you back to share it with?
IF I DON'T GIVE MY GIRL MONEY, SHE WONT GIVE ME SEX
Dear Willie D:
I need to know how to deal with my overspending girlfriend. When I try to tell her that we should be saving money instead of spending it, she calls me cheap. I have hypersexual disorder, and she uses it against me. If I don’t give her money or buy her the things she wants, she denies me sex.
Should I dump her, or try to work it out?
Yes, dump her before your balls become permanently attached to the inside of her purse.
Ask Willie D anything at willied.com/ask-willie-d, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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