My Son Won't Accept My New Man. Help!

Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!


Dear Willie D:

I messed up big time, man. I'm involved in a three-year relationship outside of my marriage that has unintentionally produced a child. What's worse is that my wife has wanted to get pregnant for some time now, but I told her we should wait.

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I feel guilty for not being able to announce to the world that I'm a father and who my son is. Moreover, I really feel bad about betraying my wife's trust. Knowing that I cheated is one thing, but if she found out that I also share a child with my mistress it would hurt her to no end. I have been struggling with the notion of revealing my deception intensely over the past several days.

I don't want to lose my wife. At the same time she needs to know the truth. Should I reveal my secret and if so, how do I explain my infidelity in a way that she will forgive me, and accept my son who is innocent in all of this?

Double Life:

Schedule a time to talk to your wife at home alone. If you still love her tell her so, then proceed to disclose the details of your double life to her. Tell her everything. If you leave out anything she will eventually find out, and if she decides to stay with you, learning of new details that are old will make it that much harder to trust you.

If I knew I had a child there's no way I would keep him or her secret, regardless of the circumstances. I would want the world to know my child's identity - unless of course I had a rich daddy who stipulated in his will that I would be cut out the will if I had a love child; just kidding.

When it's all said and done, no matter how much sugar you mix with this medicine it's still going to taste nasty. So start practicing the ugly face.


Dear Willie D:

Remember when demonstrators in Paris smashed windows at McDonald's restaurants to protest against the U.S. invasion of Iraq in 2003? How do you think they feel now that the same terrorists we went to war against are now aiming their guns and bombs at them?

French Connection:

Most people don't care what the oppressor do to others until they do it to them. But hey, France is the United States' oldest ally so we don't want to rub them the wrong way. Otherwise we may wake up tomorrow to find the Statue of Liberty missing from New York Harbor.

More Ask Willie D on the next page.


Dear Willie D:

My 15-year-old son and my new man got off on the wrong foot and now my son hates him. My son is coming into manhood and he don't like the fact that another man besides his father is living with me and telling him what to do. I'm not taking my man's side, but he is fair, however he is also firm.

My son isn't used to that. He's used to me telling him something and going back and forth with temper tantrums until he gets his way. I want to make this work because I know having a strong, loving male role model in my son's life will benefit him immensely down the road.

How do I ease the tension, and get my son to respect the new man of the house?

Easing Tensions:

For now I think the boyfriend should back off and let you handle any disciplinary actions until your son learn to trust that he has his best interest at heart. If your new man would concentrate more on building a bond with your son instead of laying down the law, your son might be more accepting of him.

Once your son realizes that your man loves and supports him, he will loosen up. But you have to support the relationship by making an effort to facilitate good vibes and helping to come up with fun things they can do together or you guys can do as a family.

Don't let your man turn you against your son, but don't let your son run your man off either because one of these days your son will be grown and gone, and you will be alone -- if you don't figure out a way for your big man and your little man to coexist.


Dear Willie D:

Why is everyone so concerned with how long they're going to live. What does it matter if you live to be 20 or 90? The end result is always the same.

How Long:

It matters to the deceased family members. At 20 they're sad; at 90 they're glad.


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Ask Willie D anything at, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.

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