Politics Are Ruining My Friendship. Help!
Photo by Jeff Fitlow
POLITICS ARE RUINING MY FRIENDSHIP
Dear Willie D:
I’m a 24-year-old female who recently found out that my friend and I have wildly different political views. She is a Democrat, and I’m Republican. I knew she was a Democrat, but she didn’t know I was a Republican until three nights ago when we had dinner together, and the subject switched to the upcoming Republican debate.
Once she found out my party affiliation, her demeanor quickly changed and she became combative. After not hearing from her since that night, I spoke to her today, but it wasn’t the same. Do I try to reconcile or is the friendship over?
Believe it or not, I have friends who are Republicans. Although I think they’re wrong as two left shoes, I don’t try to change their minds, and they don’t try to change my mind. We just agree to disagree while respectfully using colorful commentary to express our positions in hopes of encouraging the other to someday switch sides.
Give your friend a call or arrange to meet her out for lunch, and tell her how you feel. Set some boundaries when discussing politics, such as not judging each other and respecting each other’s views, or agree not to talk politics at all when you’re around one another.
If she can’t respect that, she’s not worthy of being a friend anyway.
I WANT TO SEE MY GIRL’S PHONE RECORDS TO PROVE SHE ISN’T CHEATING
Dear Willie D:
My girlfriend is never where she says she will be when I call her. She’ll tell me she’s going out with a certain friend. Then, later, when I find out she wasn’t with that friend, she has an excuse ready, claiming she was with another friend.
Lately, she’s started paying more attention to how she looks when she walks out the door, and she is getting her hair fixed more frequently. When I asked her if she’s cheating, she laughed it off, turned the tables and accused me of cheating.
I told her if she doesn’t have anything to hide to show me her cell-phone records. Of course she refused, even after I agreed to show her mine. She called me insecure and possessive. What do you think about my request?
Sounds a bit off, but don’t go down that street unless you’re ready for what’s around the corner. When you tell your significant other you want to see her phone records, in essence you’re telling her, “I don’t trust you.” No trust, no relationship.
If your girl shows you her phone records, are you prepared to give her your cell-phone password, the exact location of where you will be and the names of who you will be with from here on? I can assure you she will ask. Your girl needs a little privacy to maintain her own identity, and you should want the same. Some people don’t like feeling as though they have to check in while in a relationship.
They say people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. I’d like to add that people who have nothing to hide aren’t suspicious and demanding.
I’M LEAVING MY WIFE FOR ANOTHER WOMAN, BUT I WANT CUSTODY
Dear Willie D:
I’m about to make a life-changing decision concerning my daughter, who is 13. I’m going to leave her mother for another woman because we don’t get along. All we do is fight, and I don’t think it’s healthy for my daughter to see what unhappiness looks like every day of her life.
The problem is my wife is vindictive, and I know she will try to stop me from seeing my daughter. I don’t just want to see my daughter on weekends, I want full custody. So I’m gathering evidence to prove to the courts that I’m a good dad and she’s a bad mom. She curses a lot around my daughter and is verbally abusive to me and her.
I respect your mind. What are your thoughts on my predicament, and tactics as far as how things will turn out if we end up in a custody battle?
Whoa, kemo sabe! I respect you wanting to remove your daughter from an abusive environment, but before you look at the speck of sawdust in your wife's eye, you better pay attention to the plank in your own eye if you’re planning on using character assassination to support your case. Judges don’t like unfaithful spouses coming into their courtrooms crying about being wronged.
Although I don’t suspect you will, the wise thing to do would be to put the side chick on ice until your divorce is finalized. Besides the fact that it will protect the integrity of your case, your daughter will have more respect for you.
Documenting each case of abuse is smart. Just know that abusers don’t usually play by the rules. While you’re out there collecting evidence, don’t be surprised if she’s already beaten you to the punch…no pun intended.
I WANT TO BE A WHISTLEBLOWER
Dear Willie D:
I am a bookkeeper for a mom-and-pop medical-supply company that has a contract with the federal government. After working there for a week, I started noticing that we were billing Medicare for equipment that was not medically necessary. After bringing it to the attention of the owner and getting his reaction, it occurred to me that I was taking part in a fraud.
I’m not a full-time employee. I’m filling in temporarily for my sister-in-law as a favor until she returns to work. When I questioned my sister-in-law about the fraud, she admitted that she knew what was going on, and asked me to just go with it until she returns, which is in three more weeks.
Not only do I feel uncomfortable with going along with the fraud, but I feel compelled to report it to the authorities. But if I blow the whistle on what the company is doing, my sister-in-law will be mad at me, and she and my brother will have one less paycheck to live off. How do I address this issue?
Never blow the whistle at your job unless lives are at risk, people are being discriminated against or you're a referee.
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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