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Rappers: Which NBA Player Would You Be And Why?

Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday that isn't the day after a gigantic local music festival, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture.

This Week's Panel: Bun B, Zavey, Kyle Hubbard, Mac, Dice, Hollywood Floss, Cuddy, Mr. Wired Up (Oh Boy), Mr. 16, Thurogood, Coyo, Doughbeezy, Tawn P, Yung Truth

Not Invited: LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh

This Week's Prompt: In honor of the Mavs: If you had to liken yourself to any NBA player, who would it be and why?

Bun B: Great question. I liken myself to [Hakeem] Olajuwon; silent but deadly, confident but not cocky, professional but ready to get 'em up.

Zavey: Jackie Moon [from Will Ferrell's Semi-Pro].

Rap Round Table: Care to explain?

Zavey: Naw [laughs].

Cuddy: I would have to say Kevin Durant. He is a young man, but his style is so traditional and true to the game. Plus, he is looked at like a leader, but if you pay attention, he's a team player.

Kyle Hubbard: What's a "Mavs"?

RRT: Damn you, Kyle Hubbard.

Kyle Hubbard: Okay, seriously though. I'd like to consider myself Bill Murray in his Space Jam cameo. At least I think it was Bill Murray.

Mac: I would have to say Derrick Rose. He is a laid-back, calm point guard, yet he can explode for 35 points at any time.

Dice: LeBron. Not many want/wanted him to win, yet most expected him to. Regardless, [he's] still one of the most talented in basketball history.

Hollywood FLOSS: Kobe, I'm the best. Nah, a better public speaking Derrick Rose; quiet assassin, great player but still on the come-up.

 

Brand-new NBA champion Jason Terry
Brand-new NBA champion Jason Terry

Mr. 16: The Jet [Jason Terry]. Playin' my part in the game, but the top is near.

Thurogood: I have a feeling you're gonna get a lot of Michael Jordan answers. Dirk, because neither of us "look like" what we are. We both use unorthodox maneuvers to get the job done. And we are both technicians in our respective crafts.

Coyo: Jason Kidd; hard worker, lead by example, never give up, will to win and respected by peers.

Doughbeezy: Blake Griffin, because, and I say this is the least cockiest tone, I feel like I'm the rookie of the year.

Tawn P: I'd say Kobe, because he's one of the best, if not the best, and people find so many reasons not like him and he doesn't care.

Mr. Wired Up (Oh Boy): D. Rose, 'cause he was underrated at first then came out on top.

Yung Truth: I would say Kendrick Perkins*; quiet but very aggressive, strong and in your face.

Tha Centop: Kevin Garnett; one of the most versatile players of all-time, the most heart and passion for the game and the foulest mouth.

*This is the best, most applicable selection of the lot.

Note: Bun B, we thought, would make for a near perfect Dirk Nowitzki. To wit:

  • Both have been at it long enough to be called grizzled veterans - Dirk, 13 years; Bun, 23.
  • Both have extremely talented and beloved best friends who are no longer around - Dirk had Steve Nash, who was traded during the 2004-05 season, and Bun had Pimp C, who passed in 2007.
  • Both have their grand shining achievements - Dirk's championship ring, which he earned as part of a team; Bun's Ridin' Dirty, which he recorded as part of UGK.
  • Both earned supreme individual accolades that did not come without a little controversy - Dirk winning league MVP in 2007, and then getting bounced from the playoffs by the 8th-seeded Golden State Warriors in six games; Bun earning The Source's coveted 5-mike rating for Trill OG.
  • Dirk is regarded as one of the greatest European players of all time, and Bun is regarded as one of the greatest Southern rappers of all time. Both are rated as among the best to ever do it in general; although neither could be considered the best, both would likely make a Top 25 list of their respective crafts.
  • Anyone who has ever talked to either of them for more than one minute has eventually described them as being modest and intelligent and charming; so on and so on. Were it not for one being a 5'7" black guy from Port Arthur and the other a 7' white guy from Germany, they'd be twins.

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