Rockabilly Cereal: A Cliche In Every Bowl!

Zachary Byron Helm takes aim at rockabilly.
Zachary Byron Helm takes aim at rockabilly.

Rocks Off readers will remember Zachary Byron Helm as the founder of SORP Films and the director and star of League of Extraordinary Retards, Part 1, a scathing parody of the industrial-music scene that show Helm on a quest to murder Ronan Harris of VNV Nation and restore industrial to its roots.

When Rocks Off saw that Helm had uploaded a new film, we were at first disappointed to find that we weren't getting Part 2 of the epic. Instead, Helm has taken aim at a whole new genre: Rockabilly. defines rockabilly as "a style of popular music combining the features of rock-'n'-roll and hillbilly music. Urban Dictionary defines rockabilly as "A descriptive term that people apply to whatever object they are trying to get rid of on Ebay that isn't selling." Somewhere in the middle is probably the real answer.

In his new short, Rockabilly O's, Helm tries as hard as he can to help rockabilly fans complete their quest to make every aspect of their lives look like 1962 by providing the perfect breakfast cereal. Marshmallows come in the shapes of emerald Elvises (Elvi?), purple pompadours and violet V8s. Each box comes with free clichéd temporary tattoos, and if you send in 50 proofs of purchases you can get a free beat to shit Chevy you can tell your friends your "fixing up."

As usual, everything Helm touches turns to hilarity, but what exactly is his problem with rockabilly?

Rockabilly Cereal: A Cliche In Every Bowl!

Zachary Helm: Well, as with anything I parody I usually don't have a specific problem with it at all. I enjoy the rockabilly aesthetic and attend a fair number of their car shows even though I fit in like a cement chair at a hemorrhoid convention.

When you're making online videos, it helps to at least try to make every other one something that relates to a specific interest so you can reap some of the benefits of people spreading your stuff and doing your advertising for you. When you make fun of someone's scene or interest, chances are they will show their friends.

If they like it they show them and laugh, if they hate you they show them and scowl but the end result is that they spread your message. As such I figured this round rockabilly would be a good choice.

Rocks Off: Why a cereal, though? Why not a malt liquor?

ZH: Probably because the first idea I had was a cereal and I don't know anything about booze. Literally, nothing! I know that Tequila is Mexican in nature and my working knowledge of alcohol stops there. I try not to spoof on anything I don't really know about because I end up making too many errors.

RO: Well, what was a balanced rockabilly breakfast before your cereal came along?

ZH: Sex and just the top part of the Hostess Zingers. Not the shitty brown cakey part with the filling, just the chocolate icing. My adult life is pretty much defined by the fact that now I can just eat that icing and throw the rest of the crap away without getting yelled at for wasting food.


Rockabilly Cereal: A Cliche In Every Bowl!

RO: What genre will you attack next?

ZH: Right now we're working Zombie Vice Squad and Nurse Necro MD. ZVS is obviously a zombie movie and makes fun of the overemphasis on illegal immigration right now. It's about a 45 minute film that will be shown back to back with Nurse Necro.

Production is going slowly since we finance everything ourselves but that is part of the price you pay for having creative control. Oh yeah, and not being famous, but I like to downplay my lack of commercial success by saying things like that to make it appear intentional!

RO: Final question...

ZH: When's Part 2 of League of Extraordinary Industrial Retards coming out?

RO: Yes, goddammit! When?

ZH: Part 2 will happen when I am able to get Rich in a strangle hold to finish it... trust me, I share the grumbling!

Jef With One F is the author of The Bible Spelled Backwards Does Not Change the Fact That You Cannot Kill David Arquette and Other Things I Learned In the Black Math Experiment, available now.

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