Rocks Off's Rodeo Concert Guide for "Bros":
The Rocks Off Rodeo Concert Guide is our annual helpful(?) primer for those of you unsure about your HLSR music choices for the big event at Reliant Stadium.
"We're gonna keep rockin' forever...forever...forever."
Date: March 4
AKA: "I guess the Monsters of Rock cruise didn't require their assistance this year."
What Kind of Music Is It? Chardonnay rock.
Have I Heard Any of Their Songs? Without a doubt, provided you've listened to classic-rock radio at least once in the last 30 years.
Do They Know What "The Shocker" Is? They probably think it's Alice Cooper-related. That guy is crazy.
Appropriate Controlled Substance(s) for Pre-Show Raging? Franzia white zin and Prilosec
Can I Wear My Affliction T-Shirt? Sure. For once, you may be the hardest motherfucker there.
Will There Be Chicks There? For sure. Hope you like your meat well seasoned.
Will We Get into a Fight? Why would you want to? If you're determined to throw down, try yelling "Where's Dennis?!" at Tommy Shaw as often as possible.
Best Song(s) to Leave to Take a Dump? "Don't Let It End," "Can't Stop Rockin'" (which is apparently a real song and not a Simpsons-related gag).
Check Out the Show or Stay Home and Watch Workaholics? Stay home. Blake Henderson looks like he should be in the band, anyway.