The Rocks Off Rodeo Concert Guide is our annual helpful(?) primer for those of you unsure about your HLSR music choices for the big event at Reliant Stadium.
Date: March 8
Name: Tim McGraw
AKA: "Mr. Faith Hill."
What Kind of Music Is It? Blockbuster country.
Have I Heard Any of His Songs? Have you not heard any of his songs? "I Like It, I Love It?" "Live Like You Were Dying?" "Don't Take The Girl?" The man could practically have his own Sirius/XM station.
Does He Know What "The Shocker" Is? Faith doesn't strike me as the kind of woman who'd put up with that shit.
Appropriate Controlled Substance(s) for Pre-Show Raging? Budweiser, the King of Beers.
Can I Wear My Affliction T-Shirt? It won't score you any points, but sure. Speaking of that...
Will There Be Chicks There? You have no idea, brah. Ladies love cool Tim, but unless you can rock a two-sizes-too-small denim shirt and a black straw hat, don't bother.
Will We Get into a Fight? Laughing out loud during "Don't Take the Girl" would be properly antagonistic.
Best Song(s) to Leave to Take a Dump? "It's Your Love," "Live Like You Were Dying" -- seriously, can we talk about this song for a second? If you really "lived like you were dying," your life would be nothing but an endless series of felonies punctuated by periods of narcotics-induced unconsciousness. Or maybe that's just us.
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Check Out the Show or Stay Home and Watch Archer? McGraw comes strong. Archer can wait, and your authority is not recognized in Ft. Kickass anyway.