Rocks Off's Rodeo Concert Guide: Jake Owen
The Rocks Off Rodeo Concert Guide is our annual helpful (?) primer for those of you unsure about your HLSR music choices for the big event at Reliant Stadium.
Rock me, country Jesus.
Date: March 13
Name: Jake Owen
AKA: "The guy who originally wanted to be a golfer."
What Kind of Music Is It? Focus group-approved country.
Have I Heard Any of His Songs? That song you heard in the car that made you want to jerk the wheel into a goddamn bridge abutment? That was probably "Barefoot Blue Jean Night."
Does He Know What "The Shocker" Is? Owen strikes us as a straight missionary-position kind of guy.
Appropriate Controlled Substance(s) for Pre-Show Raging? Zima and Marlboro Ultra Lights 100s.
Can I Wear My Affliction T-Shirt? Have you washed it? That thing has to be pretty nasty by now.
Will There Be Chicks There? It seems likely. He can definitely offer some valuable hair-care tips.
Will We Get into a Fight? If you stay awake long enough.
Best Song(s) to Leave to Take a Dump? "Something About a Woman," "Alone with You."
Check Out the Show or Stay Home and Watch Baseball Tonight? Even spring baseball is more exciting.
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