Rocks Off's Ultra-Hip Rodeo Concert Guide: Train
Hey soul sister, kindly fetch me a loaded bazooka.
Date: March 16
AKA: "Too Bad They're Not Called 'Plane,' Then My Vomiting In This Airsick Bag Would Be Technically Correct"
Genre: Ubiquitous annoyo-pop
Sabrina Carpenter: The De-Tour
TicketsSun., Jul. 30, 7:00pm
I Love The 90's: The Party Continues Tour
TicketsSun., Jul. 30, 7:30pm
2 Chainz - Pretty Girls Like Trap Music Tour 2017
TicketsFri., Aug. 4, 7:00pm
TicketsSat., Aug. 5, 8:00pm
Summer Slaughter Tour
TicketsMon., Aug. 7, 2:00pm
Best Known Song(s): "Meet Virginia," "Drops of Jupiter," "Hey Soul Sister"
Key Demographic: People who: check out Mozart while they do Tae Bo, act like summer and walk like rain, listen like spring and talk like June
Previous HLSR Appearance(s): First Rodeo appearance
Houston Connections, If Any: Houston has a lot of trains, and we feel like throwing ourselves under one every time we hear that goddamned "Hey Soul Sister" song.
If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like: Only drinking coffee at midnight, smoking a pack a day (wait, that's me), wearing high heels when you exercise... you're a flake, in other words.
Odds of Wearing a Hat: 10 percent
Because He/She's Bald? Because they're trying to be ironic, man.
Odds of Onstage Injury: Only if a helpful HLSR volunteer opens the bull enclosure and mercifully stampedes them out of our misery.
Odds of The Crowd Wondering What Genius Scheduled These Mopes to Play The Freaking Rodeo: 100 billion percent
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