The summer classic rock invasion continues this week with the Doobie Brothers/Chicago show Saturday at the Woodlands Pavilion. As always, we're here to help you get the most bang for your buck. We even have a handy-dandy rating system for all these shows, as follows:
Positive Categories include the Lighter Load, which measures the amount of stone cold classics you'll be waving your Bic to, the Cachet Counter, which is a guesstimate of the current cultural relevance, and the self-explanatory Guilty Pleasure Score.
Negative Categories include the Overexposure Index and the Sap Tax, which weighs in insipid balladry and/or extensive wankery.
Disclaimer: Values are assigned according to Wack's personal preferences and prejudices; this is hardly an exact science, people. Artists are ranked in the chronological order of their appearance in Houston.
With all that in mind, who's better? Chicago or the Doobie Brothers? Let's do the math.
Lighters: 5 — Quantity, not quality
Guilt: 6 — Sue me, but their super-sappy '80s ballads make it "Hard to Say I'm Sorry." Ouch.
Sap: (-6) Okay, "You're the Inspiration" is a little hard to take.
Lighters: 6 — "The Doctor"? "China Grove"? "Jesus Is Just Alright"? Good stuff.
Cachet: 4 — It's been a few years since Yacht Rock.
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Guilt: 5 "What a Fool Believes" is still genius.
There you have it – the Doobie Brothers edge Chicago 7-6, as the Windy City combo's Sap score seizes defeat from the jaws of victory.