Secrets Destroyed My Family. Help!
Photo by Jeff Fitlow
MY MAN THINKS HIS JOB TAKES PRIORITY OVER MINE
Dear Willie D:
After being a housewife for 11 years, I finally got a job and started contributing to the household financially, although it wasn’t necessary because my husband earns three times more money than me. In the ensuing years, he has disregarded my job duties whenever I mention that I can’t do something for him or with him because I have to work.
Two years ago, he took an accidental overdose of prescription medicine and was admitted to the hospital. While he was there, he had a stroke, and ended up staying in the hospital for eight weeks. When he came home, he expected me to be there waiting on him hand and foot.
With the exception of some muscle weakness on the right side of his body, he has now made a full recovery and is back to work. He is very angry at me because I wouldn’t quit my job to stay at home with him. His motor skills were slower, but he had full use of them and didn’t need help getting around. I expressed that to him, but he says I betrayed him. I’m tired of fighting. How do I fix this?
What I’m getting from your letter is that you got a job because there was some resentment towards your husband for treating you like crap during your time as a housewife. Now that you have a job and make your own money, you feel empowered and confident. You love the feeling of independence, and vowed to yourself that you will never allow a man to make you feel inferior again, under any condition; even if the condition is a life-threatening one.
Assuming my hypothesis is correct, your husband was dead wrong to underappreciate you, and be dismissive of your job duties. But two wrongs never made anything right. I know you’re hurting, but if the shoe was on the other foot, how would you feel knowing that you struggled to manage simple tasks like eating and going to the restroom, and your significant other just went about his life as if nothing ever happened?
If you want to stop fighting, tell your husband how you feel and why you treated him the way you did. Then apologize and make a pact that you will never allow money to divide the two of you again. I’m an independent man, but if I were at home recovering from a debilitating illness, I would hope my woman was more compassionate.
I’M UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MY WIFE’S GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT
Dear Willie D:
For the past six years my wife has been going out with her old college friends twice a year to restaurants and bars – so she says. They hang out once during the summer and once during the holidays. They just had their summer girls’ night out, and she didn’t get back home until 4 o’clock in the morning!
This isn’t the first time she’s come home in the wee hours of the night after a girls night out. Might I add she was also drunk and disheveled. I’m starting to think she may be stepping out on me with another man, and using her girls’ night as an alibi.
What type of married woman stays out until 4 a.m. running the streets while her family is at home in bed?
4 In the Morning:
I’ve seen this play out both ways. I know married women who use girls night out as an excuse to play the field, while for others it’s strictly a chance to socialize and catch up on family, and gossip. If it concerns you that much, talk to her and set some boundaries.
Maybe agree that she will be home by 2 a.m. or sooner. But if you go there, just know she will make similar demands, and you don’t want to see that list, buddy. Unless you have indisputable proof that she’s stepping out on you, give her the benefit of doubt, relax, and get some sleep.
SECRETS DESTROYED MY FAMILY
Dear Willie D:
My sister called me on the phone one day and pretty much laid it all out to me. Our uncle was her father, which meant that he was her uncle and her father, and she was my sister, and cousin. It took me a month to muster the nerve to ask my sister’s real dad was it true, and he confirmed it.
The reason I didn’t ask my mom first is because my sister’s real dad was easier to talk to, and I felt like my mom wouldn’t be forthcoming. When I eventually asked my mom about everything, she told me it was true, and that she cheated on my dad with his brother because my dad had cheated on her and she wanted revenge.
My sister and I had always looked at our mother as a virtuous woman, but we have zero respect for her now. I haven’t spoken with her in months. Fortunately, this came out after my dad died, otherwise I don’t know what my dad would have did. I don’t care what he did. I have no respect for a woman who opens her legs for her husband’s brother.
Where do women like that come from?
This is bad. It’s always hard when you find out the people who you trust the most have lied to you or betrayed you in some way. What happened in the past took place before you were born. So, regardless of the circumstances, it doesn’t change who you or your sister are. It’s okay to be angry with your mom, but try to remember she was a lot younger, and people make all kinds of bad judgements in youth. I know I did.
MY FACEBOOK FRIEND OFFERED ME $200 TO LICK UNDER MY ARMS
Dear Willie D:
I was online and came across a relative of a friend on Facebook. After flirting with and teasing him for a few days, he offered me $200 to lick my underarms. At first I thought he was joking, but a few days later after giving him my number he asked me again, and I realized he was serious.
Initially I didn’t know how to respond, but now I want to go through with it. He is an attractive guy, and I haven’t been intimate in months. What harm could it be, right?
That guy is a typical freak. Do not allow him to use your body to satisfy his own desires, even if such pleasures might be beneficial to you also. Tell that creep to chill the hell out or you will call the cops. Then block him on your social media and call me. Me love you long time.
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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