She Likes Rough Sex and It Scares Me. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
I'M A MAKEUP JUNKIE
Dear Willie D:
I started wearing makeup when I was 12 years old and have been glopping the stuff on ever since. I started when I got my first five pimples, which came at the same time. I couldn't stand looking at them, so I covered my face with makeup to hide them. I couldn't walk out the house without makeup. Later I wore makeup to look older so the older guys would like me. Now that I'm in my late thirties, I wear makeup to conceal the little small imperfections of aging.
I hate having to rely on makeup. I can't count the times I've been late for events or almost had a wreck because I was applying it in my car while driving. I'm so used to wearing makeup that if I go to the Subway sandwich restaurant two minutes from my house I have to have on lip gloss, eyeliner, foundation the whole works. I'm sick of falling asleep with my makeup on and waking up to smeared pillowcases because I didn't want to spend the time taking off my makeup before I got into bed.
For a long time I wore it because it made me feel confident. I'm over that stage now, but I still can't stop caking my face with that crap. My boyfriend has told me that I look better without makeup but it's hard to change a habit that I've been living with for over 25 years. How do I end this messy addiction?
I would suggest that you start using less and less makeup each day. For example: you could stop wearing eyeliner. Then wait a few days and stop wearing lip gloss and so on. Some women and young girls like wearing makeup because to them it's a creative experience. If makeup is being used to hide scars or pimples, that's understandable too. But using makeup as a security blanket is utterly unnecessary; especially when you're already smoking hot!
NO ONE WANTS TO SIT WITH ME AT LUNCH
Dear Willie D:
I just started going to a new high school and nobody will talk to me. When I go to lunch I feel isolated and alone because I have to sit by myself. I'm a nice guy but my school is cliquish and if you're not a jock, a cheerleader, a goth, a nerd, a punker or something like that they won't talk to you. It's all so silly to me. I don't want to be put in a box but I don't what to be an outcast either. What can I do to be accepted by the in-crowd?
Isolated And Alone:
I remember those days: showing up at a new school, not knowing anybody and sitting alone at lunch. Next time on your way to lunch find someone you share a class with and strike up a conversation about a school subject, music or something you think he or she might be interested in. Stand behind them in line and after you get your food just follow them to the table where they're sitting.
If it feels a little awkward say something like, "You don't mind me joining you, do you?" If you're already communicating with them I can't see them having a problem with it. The best thing you can do to help yourself is to be yourself. Who knows, you might attract a few followers yourself. Cliques are started by people who stand out, not by those who stand in.
More Willie D advice on the next page.
Dear Willie D:
I met a young lady at the grocery store and we exchanged numbers. We began talking on the phone about everything; family, church, education, politics, friends, etc. The conversation eventually got around to sex but nothing heavy. I had to leave town for a few weeks and when I returned I decided to give her a call. The next day we met at a bar to have a few drinks.
Since I had to work the next day I only had two shots of tequila and a beer but she got blasted. She was too drunk to drive so I called her a cab. But before it could arrive I drove her home and left her car overnight at the bar. Once we got inside of her house she went into her room and came out naked. I swear she had one of the most amazing bodies I have ever seen.
She sat on my lap and we started kissing, which led to us having sex. She kept telling me to pull her hair, slap her face and choke her. I never hit a girl before so I slapped her lightly. But the choking part really freaked me out, so I just did it a little. She then put her hand on my hand and made me squeeze harder. I kept thinking maybe she's trying to set me up. Or what if she dies from asphyxiation?
Since that night she said she wants more rough sex from me but I don't think I can do it. I like talking on the phone to her, but maybe we should just be friends. I told my friend about it and he got excited. Is there something wrong with me?
There's nothing wrong with you, but you are in the minority. Most women enjoy some degree of rough sex and most men are eager to oblige them. Whenever I'm intimate with a woman I give it to her however she likes it. If she wants me to be gentle I will. But if she wants me to be rough, I will try my best to break the damn bed. Your trepidation about choking your new friend is understandable, though. It's all fun and games until you have to call the paramedics.
MY BROTHER LIVES TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT
Dear Willie D:
I had a good relationship with my brother until he moved in across the street from me. Just as I suspected, weeks later his kids are always at my house and so is their mother. I don't mind the kids so much, but the mother gossips to my wife and has the most annoying laugh I have ever heard.
My brother doesn't mow his lawn often enough so the grass is almost 12 inches long and he has trash in the yard; not a lot but just enough to be an eyesore. I have lived in my neighborhood for five years without any problems. But now I want to move. When I spoke to my brother about the high grass and trash in his yard he got offended. So now he's not speaking to me.
But his kids and his loud mouth wife still come to my house every day. What, if anything do you think can be done to restore brotherly love?
Lets see. You and your brother was cool before he moved across the street from you. Now you don't speak to each other. I would move.
PREVIOUSLY ON ASK WILLIE D
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