Straight Outta Oregon: "My Titties Is Sick"

Jef Rouner June 11, 2010 8:00AM

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If you're like Rocks Off, you completely ignored our good-hearted attempt to warn you about the effects of sleep deprivation and stayed up until 2 a.m. playing Oregon Trail. Ah, Oregon Trail! Those were the good days in computer lab, and yes, we still died of dysentery despite being an older and wiser gamer.

The game was originally developed by three student teachers in Minnesota to help people a) Learn about pioneer days; and b) learn they and their families can die WITHOUT A SINGLE MOMENT'S NOTICE! It's that kind of hard-edged realism that made Carmen Sandiego seem like such a second-class floppy disk.

There is a problem with Oregon Trail, and it's the abhorrent noise you have to listen to in the background. It has "music" the same way Hobbit Café has a "parking lot" (Note to Hobbit Café: Please repave that thing. We're afraid we're going lose our daughter Baby Jessica-style in one of those potholes).

So while you relive the glory days of early computer gaming, we suggest you turn off the BG music, and instead listen to Fatawesome's epic raptacular, "The Oregon Trail Song (My Titties is Sick)."

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.

Contact: Jef Rouner

Straight Outta Oregon: "My Titties Is Sick"

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