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Swagometer: Brawling Strippers & Fat Tony's Filthy New Band Name

Despite what you may have heard, swag isn't dead yet; at least not in Houston. Have any swagged-out projects or general ideas? E-mail alliswagoner@gmail.com.

Best. Photo. Ever.
Best. Photo. Ever.
Ryan Grimes

Aside from working every day at Girls Rock Camp Houston, this week provided Rocks Off with its usually consistent amount of swag, and even a new, corny joke: Why did the hipster burn her mouth from eating pizza? Because she ate it before it was cool. Har, har, har.

This past Wednesday night, Ke$ha had a show in The Woodlands and Rocks Off's friend Ryan Grimes managed to snap the above pic of three young girlfriends, each dressed in T-shirts with a glittery "K." It's hard to know exactly where to start here, but we think that it's high time someone coins a term for Ke$ha fans; something similar to Insane Clown Posse's "Juggalos."

Swagometer: 0. No swag, but nevertheless, we think "this meme about to blow-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh."

Fat Tony smooths it out at Raise It Up.
Fat Tony smooths it out at Raise It Up.
Marco Torres

Fat Tony finally returned "Home" from New York and had his first official welcome-back show at Boondocks last night. Chingo Bling helped out by doing a guest DJ set; we decided that only Chingo can mix the classic Juvenile dry-hump anthem, "Back Dat Ass Up" with a Latin beat.

Tony is embarking on a new project called Cunt Killer. We got handed the mysterious "Kill Cunt Smoke Blunts" 3-song demo three weeks ago, and only found out who the members were earlier this week. Fat Tony and guitarist Halston Luna have been writing songs for a while now; we got to sit in on a practice session while they were working with a potential vocalist. The songs are catchy and the chords comfortably linger in your brain after the first listen.

And heeeeeeeeeeeere's Chingo!
And heeeeeeeeeeeere's Chingo!
Marco Torres

Swagometer: 10. How can anyone go wrong with a name like CUNT KILLER?

Devin Finch, local musician/comic-book artist/videographer/leather-clad jokeman has been working on new music under the moniker Adultry Kidding and we've been patiently waiting for new tunes. In the meantime, here's a track we dig called "Back Home."

Swagometer: 9.

 

Swagometer: Brawling Strippers & Fat Tony's Filthy New Band Name

Drew Barrymore directed the most recent Best Coast video, for "Our Deal," which features a list of lukewarm young stars like Miranda Cosgrove, Donald Glover and some other Nickelodeon assholes whose names we can't remember. MTV says that Barrymore's directing has a "light, indie feel" but we think she's taking herself too seriously - the Romeo and Juliet rival-gangs concept is pretty played out. Isn't Best Coast supposed to be all cats and surfing and glitter? NO SWAG.

Swagometer: 1. Credit for the red greaser jacket.

Worldstar Hip-Hop is only good for two things, neither of which is hip-hop: Videos of ass-shaking strippers and street brawls. Sometimes the two coagulate into bare ass stripper brawls, as on this video retweeted by Slim Thugga Thursday, and then suddenly WSHH makes sense.

Stripometer: 9. Have to dock a point for shameless self-promotion by the dudes watching.


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