Rocks Off has only been here in Austin for SXSW for a little more than a day, and our brains are already swimming in confusion. Taco Bell hotels, gigantic Doritos stages, girls dressed like Roseanne, everyone wearing ill-fitting cold-weather clothing, and somewhere in the din of it all, your new favorite band. Or at least one you will have drilled into your head by promoters and blogs.

Breathe. Did we mention the lasers? Green beams everywhere.

Of course the people-watching is the main selling point that comes attached with the experience, and we seem to think the organizers make it an invisible surcharge in the cost of the badge. Sometimes the things you see cannot be tweeted or said out loud. But for us, they must be set free onto the public.

"What do these people tell their families at Thanksgiving Dinner? Yeah Dad, it's a Hitler haircut, what of it?"

"When did Roseanne Barr circa-1990 become a fashion template?"

"Please don't give me a flyer, please don't give me a flyer. Oh you gave me flyer. Damn."

"Pay for drinks? I don't understand. Like with, a credit card?"

"I wanna hit some of these dudes with mallets on the top of their heads but five more would just pop up in their place like Whack-A-Mole."

"He looks like his band sucks."

"She looks like her boyfriend's band sucks."

"Screw you Todd Barry. I'm a great elevator partner. I have fun stories."

"If you are checking out a girl and she notices, you just say your were looking at her badge."

"The Marlboro trailer is a scam. They want to give you things that aren't cigarettes. Like leather tools and USB sticks."

"A wool coat? But I already sweated off my deodorant."

"Mick Jagger's kid is here so that obviously means that the Rolling Stones are playing Stubb's on Saturday night instead of John Mayer."

"WHERE THE FUCK IS RYAN GOSLING?"