The Houston Texans’ 2015 season began with HBO’s Hard Knocks introducing the team to America at large. It took a month of filming and some fancy editing to present to the nation our sometimes thrilling and frequently frustrating NFL franchise. Home Box Office could have saved all that time and money simply by directing the curious to the Twitter accounts of Houston’s most notorious rappers. Keeping a tradition alive, we’ve once again collected some of the most insightful Tweets these artists/Texans fans shared on game day. Here’s how they saw Week 2’s loss to the Carolina Panthers, an effort marked by a second consecutive failed comeback attempt:
10. Mandatory @OGMrC Pre-Game Pep Talk
LETS GO TEXANS!!!!!! LETS GO!!!! Clowney Watt!!!— OG Mr.C (@OGMrC) September 20, 2015
9. Mallett Uses Chainsaw to Slice Bread, Sledgehammer to Whack-A-Mole #FinesseBro
Calm down, Mallett. Please.— DJ AudiTory (@DJAudiTory) September 20, 2015
8. A.J. Klein Didn't Drop The Ball Mallet Threw to Him #theotherteam #INT
So today is everybody drop the ball day... Gotcha— Jack Freeman (@_jackfreeman) September 20, 2015
7. Someone Made a Play! Great @gra89ham grab!!
Garrett Graham you son-of-a-bitch.— DJ AudiTory (@DJAudiTory) September 20, 2015
6. "I Need Some Juice! Someone Give Me Some F-ing Juice!!" #staythirsty
5. Flo From Progessive Be Like "Damn, J.J. Watt's In a Lot of Commercials."
Turns on OneHunnidt's "JJ Watt" song full blast— focused. (@OneHunnidt) September 20, 2015
4. Once We Start Quoting The Waterboy, It's Over #wesuckagain
This is the stupidest game of football I've ever seen. Fooseball at it's finest.— DJ AudiTory (@DJAudiTory) September 20, 2015
3. Don't Worry, Roosh — Houston Rockets' Season Is Only 30 Days Away
O-line sucks. QBs aint shit. Receivers can't catch. These are your 2015 Houston Texans.— Roosh (@RooshWilliams) September 20, 2015
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2. Mallett Might Be Great at Horseshoes (But Probably Would Throw Those Too Hard, Also)
Mallet almost became great...— Propain (@propain713) September 20, 2015
1. That Time @DJ AudiTory Used The Words "Throw The Ball" And "Harder" In a Non-Ironic Tweet About Ryan Mallett
It is harder to throw the ball when you can't establish a running game. Things should be better when Arian gets back.— DJ AudiTory (@DJAudiTory) September 20, 2015