You are a human and you have eyeballs and you also have the Internet, so you've likely read some things. That's sort of what this is, except sort of not too.
We went through a ton of headlines of hip-hop "stories" from the past week, picked out the ten most egregious one, pasted them below, then added a bit to them. The big, bold stuff are the actual headlines, anything preceded with a ... is what should've been added to it.. You'll get the hang of it fairly quickly, for certain.
We're soundtracked this time by a gorgeous 2009 freestyle video from Lil' Keke. You know how that goes.
10. Eminem To Appear On Singer Pink's New Album, Truth About Love
...Accidentally Upends Every "Eminem Is the Greatest Rapper Alive" Argument
9. Charles Hamilton Announces "The Charles Hamilton Experience" Live at SOB's
...Nobody Excited, Not Even Charles Hamilton
8. Kanye West & Kim Kardashian Star In MTV Video Music Awards Promo
...God Sighs, Asks "Seriously, Mankind?"
7. Kendrick Lamar Says Collaborations With Eminem Will "Definitely" Happen
...Later Says, "Oh, Wait, He Did a Song With Pink? Nah, Never Mind. I'm Good."
6. Ice Cube Says He's "65 Percent Finished" New Album, Talks Friday Film
...Humans Respond They're "65 Percent Not Excited."
5. Azealia Banks & Jim Jones Beef On Twitter Over Taking Credit For "Vamp"
...Streets of Whogivesafuck Go Crazy With Rage About It
4. Common Hopes To Record Be Follow-Up With Kanye West
...But First He Needs To Finish New Movie He's Making With Queen Latifah
3. 2 Live Crew's Luther "Uncle Luke" Campbell Certified a High School Football Coach
...Immediately Enacts Plays Called "Hoochie Mama," "Pop That Pussy" And "Doo Doo Brown"
2. Rick Ross Calls The Notorious B.I.G. "The Greatest Emcee Of All-Time"
..."No Shit," Says Half the Planet
1. Drake To Graduate From High School This Summer
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(Seriously, did anyone else know he hadn't graduated high school?)