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The Best Fathers Day Gift: 24 Hours Without Dubstep

This Sunday is a big day. For our dads, that is. It's Fathers Day, and whether we have daddy issues or not, we have to admit that we children put their dads through a lot. They helped change our diapers (hopefully, if not poor mom), they killed spiders for us (my dad still does), but best of all, they put up with a lot of shit.

One of those many things dads deal with, indeed, is the music we listen to over the years.

I'll break down my musical taste beginnings for you here. I was a Barney fanatic or it was the one thing that shut me up for long car rides as a kiddo. The dreadful song that Barney sang about love -- yeah we all know it -- probably gave parents nightmares of some strange purple dinosaur that amused children. Pretty scary, now that I think about it.

And so my musical tastes have broadened since then. A lot. (Thank goodness.)

But also having two younger siblings, ages nine and 14, I've heard and witnessed the music that gives our dads one huge never-ending headache. So in honor of Father's Day, I decided why not make a list of music we should just not play for the day to help our dads out. Plus they'd spend less money on Advil.

The Best Fathers Day Gift: 24 Hours Without Dubstep

5. "Call Me Maybe": Now what do I have to say about this. I catch myself singing this song and laugh. It gets stuck in your head.

However, this song never really came to my attention until the Harvard baseball team made their own "van dance" to the song. Since then, so many colleges have made their own versions. Now my brother plays baseball, and I'll say that I'm pretty sure my dad wouldn't be too thrilled to pick up his iPod and see "Call Me Maybe" playing.

I think we get the point. Dad doesn't like annoying pop songs that are repetitive beyond belief.

4. Nicki Noise: OK, now I won't say I'm a huge Minaj fan, but I think it would be cool to see her live one time, just to understand these alter egos. My dad, like most when they hear Nicki, is annoyed by her voice and vulgar language.

Maybe dads are just doing their job and don't want vulgar language and subliminal messages -- he also hates me listening to Childish Gambino -- being tossed into their kids ears, but at the same time I could never see my dad enjoying Nicki's oh-so interesting voice. As we've seen on YouTube and Ellen DeGeneres' show, these two kiddos were on the show singing to Nicki. Notice how the dads weren't there, folks.

3. Warped Tour Times: Now there's a reason why most dad can't stand most bands that are at Warped Tour. As he says, "they're just screaming!"; in other words, to him it's just noise. Now having been to Warped Tour before, I can say that my dad could deal with Blink-182, but when it came to bands like Chiodos and Underoath, he was ready to kneel over and hurl.

Screaming and singing in high-pitched voices is not most dads' thing to listen to. I don't know many dads who take an interest in this. As kids we already screamed enough, so let's keep this to a minimum for one day.

 

2. Boy Bands:Growing up in the '90s was an interesting time, no doubt. However, at times I think I was born in the wrong era, but whatever. My dad was forced to listen to *NSYNC, the Backstreet Boys, and 98 Degrees. Now, thanks to my little sister, the extreme has been met.

Poor dad is listening to One Direction and Big Time Rush now. My little sister has that playing all the time. It gives me a damn headache. I can now imagine the suffrage my dad went through.

1.The Whomps!: This, in all honesty, is my fault due to dad's headaches. The dubstep, trance, house -- basically EDM, if you get my drift -- has my dad saying, "it's just noise!" I'm sure he's not the only dad who thinks that.

Now I love EDM, but after a 16-hour drive from Phoenix to Houston on the way home from college, I learned my dad could never handle the whomps. (Although he is impressed by the music's massive fan base.) I tried having my dad listen to the dubstep tutorial, and let's just say he said "whoa!"

But one play is all he could take. So children, for our dads, I think we can hold off on the whomping for now, and let the bass cannon kick it another day.

So, I guess the point I'm trying to get across is, for Father's Day, let dad be in charge of the radio and pick the music. My dad would most certainly be playing Boston over all of this. If kids can't take his music for one day, then damn, there are some selfish kids out there.

Dad, I'm sorry for the many headaches you have suffered over the years. I think it's time we let dad listen to something of his own interest after years of listening to our music so that we don't fuss. He deserves a day of his own music -- after all, it is his day.


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