Ask a young person what they think of old people, and you'll typically get a wide range of responses, all negative. For better or worse, America and most industrialized nations have moved past the elder worship of our ancestors, now preferring everyone to be between the ages of 18 and 35, and leaving everyone else in the dust.
But old people are awesome, and ignoring and/or disrespecting them is the leading cause of ignorance and idiocy in young people, according to a statistic I just made up. The fact is, old people have a lot to teach us, including about how to rock.
Wait, what? Yep. Old people in fact invented the rock, and have been rocking since before we were born. Here are five old people who can show us the way when it comes to getting down and dirty with rock and roll.
5. Salustiano Sanchez Named by the Guinness Book of World Records as the oldest living man in the world, Salustiano Sanchez is 112 years old and enjoys gardening, doing crossword puzzles and, most importantly for our purposes, playing the dulzaina.
A self-taught player, Sanchez would earn money on the wedding and celebration circuit in a small town in Spain called El Tejado de Bejar, where he was born in 1901. He quit school at age ten and devoted himself to work in the agricultural field and playing his dulzaina. Though no footage exists of Sanchez playing, check out the video above to find out what the instrument sounds like.
4. Old Lady Blues Soloist Have you ever listened to the great blues guitarists and just wondered how they can make their guitars cry like that? Take Eric Clapton, for instance. He chooses just the right notes and the right tones to make a guitar wail and sing all on its own, no vocals necessary.
Well, check out this very old Asian woman who could probably hold her own against Clapton in a blues-soloing contest. In most Asian countries, respect for elders is still very much a strong cultural institution, so I'm sure she gets the props she deserves for this in her home country. As for Americans, feast your eyes and ears and bow down to the queen of the blues right here.
3. The Angriest Guitar Player in the World You would probably think the angriest guitar player in the world would be some young punk, and you would be wrong. No, it's this old man, who really, really gets mad whenever he makes a mistake on his guitar.
At first I thought he was yelling in a foreign language, but I suppose that's just gibberish because he starts speaking English after a few outbursts. Apparently he goes by the name "The Treeman," a prerequisite of which I thought required you to actually be turning into a tree, but apparently not. Three guitars died in the making of this video, so pay your respects by checking out The Treeman's finished version of the song.
2. Air Guitar Dad Air Guitar Dad got famous in the Mars Volta fan community after this video was taken of him rocking out at one of the band's shows in London. This guy loves to boogie, and he moves with amazing agility as he simulates the guitar playing of Omar Rodriguez-Lopez.
Amazingly, he's only an amateur. So far as I know, he's never actually participated in the Air Guitar World Championships. That being said, I'm confident he'd win if he ever decided to throw his hat into the ring.
1. The Grandma Drummer Recently going viral on the Internet, the Grandma Drummer's YouTube video featuring her rocking out on the drums in a small music store in Wisconsin has racked up, as of this writing, slightly more than 4.2 million views. Not only does that mean she is exceedingly popular, but it means that at one point, she had 3,666,666 views, which is the most metal thing since June 6th, 2006.
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SHOW ME HOW
That means her drumming prowess can only come from the Devil, which makes sense considering the Devil rocks, and she's from Wisconsin, home of every supernatural occurrence on earth since Michael Lesy's 1973 book Wisconsin Death Trip.