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The Seven Scariest Houston Rap Songs

The Seven Scariest Houston Rap Songs

Rappers are scary. Some of them live in Houston. With Scary Season (aka Halloween) around the corner, we decided to visit some of the most spooktacular rap songs Houston has ever produced.

No Halloween party is complete without these seven Houston rap songs.

7. Z-Ro, "Mercy" If Z-Ro was a villain he'd be the one who sings you a lullaby right before severing your ear, a la Mr. Blonde in Reservoir Dogs. Now that's some gangsta shit. On this early Guerilla Maab track, Ro sweetly sings "Murder in me...I love to see you bleed." Um, yeah the song title is a bit misleading. Even the haunting loop in the background sounds like a lullaby. At the service of the piano is a sporadic pew pew sound gently piercing the fog of serenity. *Shivers*

6. K-Rino, "Stories from the Black Blook" There's something sinister about K-Rino's voice. It sounds like the voice of a man who's seen it all. When Rino limns a chilling portrait of the ugly South Park hood on "Stories from the Black Book," you just end up wondering how the heck he managed to escape unscathed. Then, he drops the beat and offers this cogent line: "I wipe my ass with sandpaper and broken glass." Yes. That's how you protect yourself in the hood. No one fucks with the guy who wipes his ass with sandpaper and broken glass.

5. Scarface, "I'm Dead" You're never truly scared until you're faced with your own mortality. "I'm Dead" is spooky in a "Sixth Sense" kinda way. Basically, Scarface only realizes his tragic fate after walking through walls and hilariously dialing his momma. He doesn't explain how he's able to handle the phone, though. Maybe he channeled his inner strength like a true Jedi.

4. Ganksta N-I-P, "Reporter from Hell" Ganksta N-I-P is arguably the scariest Houston rapper ever. Rumor has it that no human has ever beheld his eyeball and survived. He probably deserves his own list. "Reporter from Hell" is one of the spookiest things N-I-P ever laid to wax. If you play this song in your car while riding with your date, there's a 99.99 percent chance she won't return your calls ever again.

3. Bushwick Bill, "Chuckie" A thoroughly disturbing track in which Bushwick Bill goes on a killing spree ("I told you size wasn't shit/ That's why I murdered your nieces"). When Bill isn't busy killing something or someone, he can be found eating a dog's brain, stuffing mailboxes with human heads, or thrusting 10,000 pencils in some poor guy's chest. Sheesh. "Chuckie" may or may not have been written by Ganksta N-I-P after 600 viewings of Child's Play.

List continues on the next page.

 

2. Geto Boys, "Mind Playing Tricks on Me" Halloween came to the hood in 1991, disguised as Bushwick Bill, Willie D, and Scarface. On "Mind Playing Tricks on Me," the Boys of Geto go trick-or-treating, robbing children for candy, while serving up a bag of paranoia. No one knows how a song this sick managed to climb all the way to No. 23 on the Billboard Hot 100, but it did. It's still the group's best chart performance. One of the greatest rap songs ever -- not just on Halloween.

1. Ganksta N-I-P, "Horror Movie Rap" "I ain't gon' lie, I feel like killing my niece."

That adorable piece of poetry is from the opening salvo on N-I-P's debut, The South Park Psycho. The entire song plays out like one sick horror flick, with N-I-P marrying a horse and all. Don't ask, don't neigh.

Which scary Houston rap songs did I omit? I'm sure you'll see to it that they find a resting place in the comment box.

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