The Worst Music Fans of 2013
My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way
Photo by Marc Brubaker
It seems like one of the biggest things music fans hate is music fandom. Is it that fanboy antics are just really that insufferable? Is it that we hate people who like things we don't like? I don't know, but since the dawning of time, fan wars have existed and will continue.
That's why this year I decided to single out the worst fanbases in music. I tried to avoid the easy route, so I'm not going to pick on 12-year-olds screaming about One Direction. Yeah, we all hate it, but kids have been doing that since the Beatles. Maybe since Al Jolson.
I also avoided Juggalos, because they're in a class of their own. Instead, I'd like to discuss some fanbases who have actually done insufferable things, like perpetrating rampant misogyny or inciting a 30-year-old debate that needs to die.
My Chemical Romance Fans This year the band behind "Welcome to the Black Parade" finally called it quits after at least six years of irrelevance. Apparently there were still stragglers hopelessly dedicated to the band, though, and it incited responses like the ones above. Hysterical sobbing and waiting endlessly for the band to return.
The worst though, and it seems to have been mostly scrubbed from the walls of Tumblr, was the hordes of people who started threatening suicide over the band's breakup. Come on, people. It's just a band. Life is bigger than music, believe it or not. Then there was this.
Yeah, sorry mrsstylesswaggy, that is totally not okay...
Justin Bieber Fans Well, actually Arab Beliebers, your fanbase is totally crazy. That being said, I vowed not to pick on the obsessions of 12-year-olds, so I'll leave them alone for supporting the now-allegedly-retired Bieber through any number of his douchey actions this year. Instead, let's focus on that whole #cut4bieber thing that spread across Twitter.
Apparently kids were cutting themselves because Bieber was caught smoking pot. Now honestly I combed the Web site and only found people making jokes about those who were supposedly doing it, and the whole thing was perpetrated by 4chan and Anonymous anyway, but if anybody actually did do it... Man, you kids are messed up. Seek help.
Metallica and Megadeth Fans Yep, this is still a thing somehow. Even though at this point Megadeth front man Dave Mustaine has stood onstage with Metallica and played the songs they wrote together so many years ago, the mudslinging among fans continue.
These people are worse than Civil War re-enactors at this point. They're those guys yelling, "The South will rise again." I mean, come on, guys. This was irrelevant when it was relevant in 1992. It's time to lay down your arms.
Story continues on the next page.
Photo by Matthew Keever
As I Lay Dying Fans As I detailed when naming him the number two douchebag of 2013, As I Lay Dying front man Tim Lambesis done fucked up good. Is he guilty of the charges against him? Hey, that's for a jury to decide. Well, a jury and As I Lay Dying fans on Twitter.
As detailed by the wonderful Public Shaming Tumblr, numerous fans, upon learning of Lambesis' arrest, took to Twitter to express outrage...at his wife. Because, and I quote @Vindorno, "his wife must have been one hell of a bitch." Plus, according to @Jerry_leeee, "bitch probably deserved it." Well, there you go. The ball is in your court now, American justice system.
Burzum Fans Look, I really like Burzum, despite the horrible, despicable things the man behind the music has done and said. That being said, it's such a dangerous thing allowing this guy to espouse his views anywhere and everywhere. You wanna know why it was such a big deal that that Duck Dynasty guy said some hateful things in an interview?
Because posts like the one above are what you get when our cult-of-personality celebrities say vile, hurtful things about groups of people. You get people who love Burzum and arbitrarily go around expressing anti-Semitism over... having to watch commercials before a Burzum video. Cause Jews made that happen, clearly. Right.
He's not alone either. Go read the comments on any Burzum video and you'll find at least one person spreading some kind of neo-Nazi white-supremacist shit thanks to Varg Vikernes' writings. I love the music, but man, the fans of this band just might be the worst of any year.
ROCKS OFF'S GREATEST HITS
Get the Music Newsletter