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These Are Serious Issues: A First World Problems Playlist

Twenty-seven seconds into the song posted above, Canadian rocker Matthew Good says the phrase "first world problems." It is, as far as most Internet detectives can tell, the first time that phrase was used in a piece of art. Good wasn't setting out to create a punchline that would be beaten to death 16 years later, but these things happen sometimes.

A first world problem is a something that is annoying to you but in the grand scheme of the world is utterly trivial. Soup being too hot to eat right away, having to sit through a pre-roll before a YouTube video, the batteries in your remote control dying -- all manner of things that are annoying but pale in comparison to hunger, genocide and lack of clean drinking water.

Music has its share of songs that feature trivial issues. Art is often used as a way to get over the things that upset us, even when those things are pretty silly.

In honor of Mr. Good turning 41 recently (June 29), we're honoring his inadvertent position as the father of a meme by picking out some of the more perplexing first world problems in modern music.

1. Theory of a Deadman, "Hate My Life" The Problem: Dads get pissed when you hit on their underage daughters.

As a list of first world problems, "Hate My Life" hits the notes of dissatisfaction that many people can relate to. Unhappiness at work? Check. Significant other who is materialistic? Check. Inconsiderate drivers? Check. All your friends have more money than you? Check. The inability to know if a hot chick is underage? Che -- wait, what?

Here is a problem that could have easily been avoided. First, don't call a woman (no matter how old she is) a nice piece of ass. Secondly, if you absolutely must refer to her as such, don't call her that (no matter how old she is) in front of her father. Even if she thought it was funny or cute, you'll never get invited to Thanksgiving dinner.

2. Kanye West, "Take One For the Team" The Problem: People don't take care of their house or smell the way I like.

Kanye lives a life that most of us can't even dream about. It's luxury on top of wealth with a whole bunch of fame on top. It's a life that is probably foreign to roughly 95 percent of the people reading this blog right now.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that he has unrealistic expectations for the people he comes in contact with. Remember when he mandated that everyone in G.O.O.D. music wear the same suit? That's the type of behavior you can get away with when you're the guy in charge.

It's fascinating to see that he's so annoyed by people's choice of lotion. I can't tell you what Love Spell or Cool Water smell like, but I can't imagine it's so awful I'd drop half a verse on the subject. And being upset that people have plastic couches? Dude, you're rich: if you like them enough to hang out at their house just buy them some good furniture.

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Cory Garcia is a Contributing Editor for the Houston Press. He once won an award for his writing, but he doesn't like to brag about it. If you're reading this sentence, odds are good it's because he wrote a concert review you don't like or he wanted to talk pro wrestling.
Contact: Cory Garcia