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Things We Never, Ever Want To Hear Again

Things We Never, Ever Want To Hear Again

Editor's Pick: Vampire Weekend's "Holiday." Everything I hate about indie rock (cloying, fey, highly irritating) and car commercials (they're car commercials) in about 15 seconds.. Repeated seven or eight times a fucking hour.

Marc Brubaker: "Check us out on Twitter!" or anything else Twitter/Facebook related. Bands, it's great that you're using social media to enhance your marketing. But if your Web presence is really that important to my life, I am more than capable of finding it myself. Spare me the stage banter of trying to get more followers, likes, or adds - either tell us a story or get back to the music.

Things We Never, Ever Want To Hear Again

John Seaborn Gray: Emo. People are still over-using the word emo in 2010 and it needs to stop. Not everything that is emotional is emo; musicians have been hating themselves and their exes for as long as there's been music. Emo was a descriptor for a very narrow, specific portion of the modern-rock landscape, and its era is over. Bands that used to make emo music don't make it anymore.

They've all changed their sound in one direction or another to leave the traditional emo trappings behind, and mostly for the better. Throwing out the word "emo" to describe, for example, Frightened Rabbit, which we actually saw done this year more than once, just shows how out of touch you are.

There is no emo. We're over it.

Craig Hlavaty: In August, I would have told you Ke(Dollar Sign)ha, but repeated listening at Grand Prize Bar totally deadened me to hating it and her. I dunno, Vampire Weekend?

Things We Never, Ever Want To Hear Again

Jef With One F: The phrase I never want to here again is "And the Grammy goes to..." Really? Does anyone anywhere give a nickelbag of fuck about a Grammy? Katy Perry is up for best album this year. Seriously.

It's gotten to the point that winning a Grammy is an automatic admission that whatever you just did was completely irrelevant. You know what beat out "Smells Like Teen Spirit" for best rock performance? "Layla." The ACOUSTIC version!

It's not getting any better, folks. I can't give you an alternative, unfortunately, save what my colleagues and I churn up every December when we compile our best-of lists, but anything is literally better than winning a Grammy.

I watch Pawn Stars. You can't even sell those things for a decent price.

 

Matthew Keever: I was born and raised in Houston, so like many of you, it's easy for me to forget how gargantuan the city is, but pleeeeeease stop complaining about this place. If you don't want to be here, move to New York City, Los Angeles or Chicago... you know, one of the "big" cities where there's a stable job market, a music scene and plenty of nightly entertainment.

Oh wait. Houston has all of that, too.

It's exhausting to hear people (especially young people) bemoan living here. It's not perfect, but there are plenty of things to do in Houston, and if you're too lazy to figure out what those things are, don't blame the city.

Things We Never, Ever Want To Hear Again

Shea Serrano: It would be cool if everyone went ahead and decided that it wasn't cute to use the word "swag" anymore. It's been around for a bit, but just about everybody was using it in 2010. It was like it was on sale at goddamn Walmart or something.

It felt the same way I imagine it'd feel like if I drove my car head first into a wall at 90 mph, only instead of hitting a wall, I hit swag. And instead of an airbag popping out of my steering wheel, swag popped out. And instead of being in a car, I was in swag.

Swag, swag, swag. I choked on that shit this year.

Brittanie Shey: "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon. Should be self-explanatory.

William Michael Smith: "Support the scene." Nothing wears us out more than this empty bowl of mush. As my compadre Andrew Dansby is so astute in pointing out, a reporter's job is to report, not support.

The same goes for the oft-heard "why don't you help build the scene?" Tripe. Not that we don't support and help build by buying tickets to shows, drinks, merch, etc., etc. But if by "support the scene" you mean give some crap-ass band a blowjob, no thanks. But you go ahead.


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