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Tiger Moms: Seven Songs To Help Tame Those Cubs

Amy Chua's controversial book/parenting guide, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, has moms everywhere wondering how to tame their young ones.

But you don't need a copy of the book to learn how to breed strong, smart, successful cubs, because Rocks Off has found the musical translations of Chua's teachings.

Take a listen.

The Stereo, "Turn Off the TV":

One of the things Chua credits for the academic success of her daughters in Tiger Mother is the "no TV" rule. She'll definitely approve of this pop-punk ditty about the perils of the idiot box. Turn off the TV. That's four hours of violin practice!

Tiger Moms: Seven Songs To Help Tame Those Cubs

Dead Prez, "Discipline":

The hook to this dead prez jawn is guaranteed to make any tiger mom faint in joy: "Discipline makes things easier/ Organize your life."

Tiger Moms: Seven Songs To Help Tame Those Cubs

Tom Lehrer, "Fight Fiercely, Harvard!":

Lehrer's satirical painting of Harvard athletes resonates strongly with Chua's message of competitive spirit: "Oh, hail to the spirit of the Asiatic tiger. Impress mommy with your prowess, oh do."

Pitchshifter, "Underachiever":

"Tell me I'm faultless, Teflon child/ Tell me there's nothing wrong, stay-press smile"

If your cub starts begging for compliments, like the loser in this Pitchshifter song, here's a standard tiger mom response you can use over and over: "No, you pathetic underachiever. I didn't work this hard so you can come home with an A-." A tiger mom only says these things because she believes in her cub's unbridled emotional strength.

 

Allen Iverson, "Practice"

Tiger Mom is not talking 'bout a game, she's talking 'bout practice. Violin practice. (So it's not a song. Sue us.)

Tiger Moms: Seven Songs To Help Tame Those Cubs

Don Williams, "Pressure Makes Diamonds":

This famous quote is credited to WWII U.S. commander General George S. Patton. General Patton may have been the world's first tiger dad, as he's also famous for saying "May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't." In tigerspeak, this translates as "God have mercy upon my cub, because I won't."

Tiger Moms: Seven Songs To Help Tame Those Cubs

Papoose, "Second Place is the First Loser":

Any tiger mom worth her stripes knows how to dig in her paws and extinguish a tantrum. No excuses, no whining. And she'd definitely cosign Papoose's message about not settling for less. Now, about that whole busting guns business? Tiger Mom prefers a more patient and tactical approach when hunting prey.

Follow Rocks Off on Facebook and on Twitter at @HPRocksOff.


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