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Today's 10 Most Predictable Acts to See in Concert

Today's 10 Most Predictable Acts to See in Concert
Photo by Groovehouse

There's nothing quite as soul-crushing as a disappointing concert. We've all been there; shit rolls downhill the minute the dude behind you dumps his beer on your girl's shoes, or the security bro doesn't find your umpteenth "Freebird" request to be quite as funny as you did. It'll ruin the night with one swift flick of the handcuffs.

I'm not talking about those times, though; it's your own fault if your Chihuahua bark bites off more than you can chew. I'm talking about the kind of soul-crushing that happens when you're all jacked for the concert, making your descent down I-45 hell, and you're met with an utterly mundane concert.

It's the same set list as last year, the same theatrics and the same crappy covers. Foghat sure can be disappointing, can't they?

Well, being the friendly neighborhood blogger that I am, I'm here to keep you out of such disappointing concert predicaments. Below are ten of the most predictable concerts I've seen; from the set list to the anticlimactic theatrics, these concerts were completely textbook from one venue to the next.

Perhaps it'll save you some heartache (and a ton of cash, if you're one of the fools who keep StubHub in business) if you're lucky. However, if you're dead-set on buying those damn Nickelback tickets you've been eyeing on Craigslist, you're on your own.

Today's 10 Most Predictable Acts to See in Concert
Photo by Marco Torres

10. Snoop Dogg Snoop Dogg (or Lion, I'm not really sure at this point) is one of my favorite rappers of all time, but he's unfortunately also a repeat offender. He opens and closes with the same songs from venue to venue, and has been doing so since around 2010.

His set list is the same, too, so if you've seen one Snoop concert, you've more than likely seen them all. Maybe now that he's switched up his name and found a higher calling, he'll switch up the songs that he plays live. I wouldn't bank on it, though...I know how lazy all you resident stoners can be.

9. Marilyn Manson I worshiped at the alter of Mr. Manson's music in high school, so it pains me to write this (and yes, I had JNCO's...it was the '90s). I have no choice in the matter, though; he's been following the same formula both onstage and off for as long as I can remember. There's nothing shocking about it anymore; he takes the stage, opens with "Hey Cruel World" and even he seems bored with it.

His set is always short, the theatrics always include a white fur coat and references to the Pope (wtf is he going to do now that we don't have one?!), and you know at some point he'll throw something at the audience. That's what you'll get for your 15 songs; nothing more, nothing less.

Oh, and he'll never play an encore. That might be too unpredictable for the shock-rocker to commit to.



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