Top 10 Bands Your Girlfriend Cannot Stand
Not all the girls are mad for One Direction.
Photo by Barry Sigman
A shared taste in music can be a critical part of any couple's relationship, from going to a concert on their first date to narrowing down that one special song for their first wedding dance. But what if that's not the case? Just from a bit of casual Googling, it's not difficult to find divorce attorneys' Web sites that list album collections as a common example of personal property that gets disputed when couples decide to untie the knot.
Recently, as a sort of experiment, Rocks Off asked ten of our male contributors to ask a woman in their life -- wife, girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, even a close friend, just not a blood relation -- to name one band or artist they just cannot abide.
What a great question, right? Easy to answer, but almost impossible to agree on. Some answers came back almost right away in replies that seemed almost reflexive, while others took a few days and came in the form of carefully considered paragraphs.
Either way, it was clear that the women we asked did not require much prompting at all.
Blink-182 "Because [of] their extreme whininess."
I want to preface this by saying that because I was something of a (read: totally) Goth in high school this used to piss me off more than anything.
I hate the Cure.
I hate them. And everyone -- everyone -- used to assume that just because I wore black lipstick and had a deathmullet (for those of you that are unaware of this most unflattering of hairstyles for overweight depressed teens, it's when your hair is long on top and shaved underneath and on the sides, thus highlighting all of your multiple ear piercings and numerous chins), I was the Cure's biggest fan. Which I was not.
I was of the Depeche Mode camp because I (and maybe this is just me) do not find the sound of a grown man constantly choking back tears appealing and/or sexy, whereas Dave Gahan's voice is what lubricated vaginas (and assholes -- I don't judge!) are made of. Can we put a tape (tape, because I'm 32) together of them singing and do a test of who is just ultimately more panty-droppingly amazing in the vocal department?!
Photo by Marco Torres
Jay-Z "While the hip-hop community was still in mourning [for] 'Pac and Big, he capitalized. He's a brand. Diddy is the most successful at that. [In] each individual classification, he's not the best. His music doesn't seem appealing to me, not even for entertainment purposes."
Lady Antebellum "For ripping off Alan Parsons Project, among others. Everything they do is a ripoff. Nashville garbage."
Metallica "The people who like them just look dirty, like they need a bath. They have long, nasty hair, and smell like stale cigarettes and weed. The music makes me cringe, and all I think about is the scumbags that like it."
My Chemical Romance "They're just... bad, and so contrived. That cover of 'Under Pressure' was beyond evil. It's like they take everything I like about music, and jump up and down and piss on it."
Photo by Craig Hlavaty
Nickelback "In my opinion, one of the worst bands that I ever heard. I cannot give you specific reasons about the music itself, because if I am subjected to listening to it, I will change the station, leave the bar, etc. I will take whatever action is necessary in order to not have to listen to shitty music."
One Direction "I hate that damn Harry Styles kid because the magazines keep talking about him, and all I want to do is give him a haircut."
It started during the No Strings Attached days, where crunchy curls gave way to the afro. Later came the ill-advised cornrows. About the same time entered the boy-from-the-hood-but-didn't-sound-like-it-last-week accent that sealed the deal.
This guy was annoying.
I've held steady with time -- this opinion isn't a popular one - but find myself easing up some.
That performance in The Social Network? Pretty good. Those SNL appearances? OK, he's funny.
So I'll -- begrudgingly -- admit it. I don't hate him like I once did.
Still, he's got a ways to go.
Photo by Marco Torres
Anything on Hot 95.7 FM, specifically 2 Chainz and Chris Brown
A while back my boyfriend's CD player got stolen from his car, but he still has a radio. So for a while now, he's just listened to the radio. We were in the car today, listening to 95.7, and every single song sounded exactly the same. Talking about pussy, talking about getting drunk, talking about cars, talking about how you can only live for tonight because tomorrow doesn't exist...
Then that 2 Chainz song came on, and he's all, "I'm different, man. I'm different." But the very next line is about rolling up to the club with his ceiling missing. So how is he different? This is the same thing I heard in the last song, dude, and you're an idiot.
And beyond that, why is Chris Brown still famous? The people are terrible people, and they're glorifying the fact that they only have sex and get drunk, and this is their lives. That's the message you're sending?
Compiled by Chris Gray from the replies submitted to Brando, Corey Deiterman, Cory Garcia, Craig Hlavaty, Jef With One F, Josh Justice, Matthew Keever, Shea Serrano, Nathan Smith and Marco Torres.