Ratt, "Round and Round"
Thursday night, Ratt hits up Warehouse Live with what passes for their original line-up. At their peak, the band was a gritty and decadent alternative to bands like Poison, skewing closer to Motley Crue in terms of excess and drug abuse.
The band managed to get Milton Berle to make not one, but two appearances in their clip for "Round and Round," the first single off 1984's stellar Out of The Cellar. Seriously the whole thing is amazing, and we aren't even being facetious. Uncle Milty even pulled out the drag get-up for the video, which was probably no easy feat for the aging comedian. Berle's nephew Marshall was managing the hair-metal band at the time, making the connection as simple as making a phone call.
First off, you won't find any Michael Jackson clips in this countdown. MJ had enough money in his heyday to hire anyone he wanted for his music videos. He could have had Ronald Reagan running lights if he wanted to on Thriller but the president was busy throwing people on the street to make his call time. Everyone MJ knew was famous, rendering him inert to this list.
We also omitted the requisite Aerosmith Get A Grip-era clips with Liv Tyler and our seventh-grade girlfriend Alicia Silverstone. Believe us, you will be seeing them plenty in the next few weeks before the Aero gig at the Woodlands.
And yes, we know that Courtney Cox-Arquette was in "Dancing In The Dark."
1. AC/DC, "Big Gun" (Arnold Schwarzenegger)
This is a song from the Last Action Hero soundtrack, which is arguably the greatest movie to ever be struck onto celluloid. Check out Arnold rocking out with Angus Young in his own school boy uniform and the quick shot of Tina Turner at the beginning as the mayor of Los Angeles.
2. Paul Simon, "You Can Call Me Al" (Chevy Chase)
By now everyone should know that Chevy Chase was in an early incarnation of Steely Dan with Walter Becker and Donald Fagen.
3. Justin Timberlake, "What Goes Around" (Scarlett Johanssen)
Craig's Hlist doesn't know about you guys, but if ScarJo talked us like she does to Justin Timberlake in the first minute of this video, she could get us to do whatever she wanted. Burn down our grandmother's house, rob a bank, pretty much anything.
4. Fiona Apple, "Not About Love" (Zach Galifinakis)
Galifinakis gives hope to the bearded and big-bellied everywhere that eventually we will date a waifish singer-songwriter. He's like our Rosa Parks.
5. Moby, "Natural Blues" (Christina Ricci)
How did Moby pull so many girls back in the day? When Play came out, he was dating either dating Christina Ricci or Natalie Portman.
6. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, "Into the Great Wide Open" (Johnny Depp)
We totally blanked on Faye Dunaway being in this video too. Believe it or not, there was a time we can remember when Depp was just known as a dopey pretty boy.
7. Vampire Weekend, "Giving Up the Gun" (Joe Jonas, Jake Gyllenhaal, RZA, Daft Punk)
It took a lot out of us to include a Vampire Weekend video on this. They are like our Nickelback. When you see Vampire Weekend, we see Chad Kroeger. Even still, it's pretty badass to have Daft Punk and a Jonas brother in your video.
8. Rolling Stones, "Has Anybody Seen My Baby?" (Angelina Jolie)
This is easily one of the Stones' best, and weirdest, modern videos. It even trumps that creepy "Paint It, Black" clip with the '80s kids in the theme park. Hello, half-nude Angelina Jolie.
9. Elton John, "I Want Love" (Robert Downey Jr.)
This was filmed right when RoDo was coming out of the depths of drug abuse, and this Elton John video very much reintroduced him as a handsome guy, rather than the junkie who breaks into your house and nods out in your child's bed while he's at summer camp. What are the odds that we see a Lohan/Elton clip this fall?
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10. Beck, "Sexx Laws" (Jack Black)
"You have sex laws? I wanna defy 'em!" Jack Black was also in another big music video the same fall as this Beck clip from Midnite Vultures. He and Tenacious D cohort Kyle Gass made a quick appearance at the beginning of the Foo Fighters' clip for "Learn To Fly."