Twelve Musical Fuck Yous Better Than Gov. Ah-nuld's Coded Message
We admit, we never thought he had it in him, but apparently the Governator is capable of human cleverness - just like all non-cybernetic organisms. That is, if we accept that the acrostic in this veto message here isn't just a coincidence (read the first letter of each line in the second and third paragraphs). That's a good one, but this being Rocks Off, we would've preferred Schwarzenegger put his F-U into song form, like these folks.
John Lennon, "How Do You Sleep?" McCartney could've won this little slapfest if he'd just used Ah-nold clone Rainier Wolfcastle's response to the same question: "On a big pile of money, surrounded by many beautiful ladies." We'll just assume he wasn't including Linda in that assessment.
Carly Simon, "You're So Vain" Warren Beatty? Mick Jagger? Al Haig? The subject of Simon's most famous song remains a mystery almost 40 years after its release, which is itself almost as impressive an achievement as that bra-less shot gracing the cover of her No Secrets album.
Bob Dylan, "Positively 4th Street" Wherever the titular 4th Street is located (New York? Minneapolis?), and whichever of his critics the song was aimed at, few singers could make such an angry and accusatory song sound so light and breezy.
Slobberbone, "Sweetness, That's Your Cue" Brent Best once described this as the angriest song he ever wrote. And that was before Anthony Anderson mispronounced the name of the CD (it's Slippage , not Spillage ).
XTC, "Your Dictionary" Gee, who knew the guy who sang about God "always letting us humans down" would have such bitterness in him?
Kelly Clarkson, "Since U Been Gone" Oh, shut up. Sure, you'll talk shit to your hipster friends about Clarkson until you're blue in the face, but deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want her on your iPod. You need her on your iPod.
Old 97s, "Wish the Worst" Easy there, Rhett, wishing somebody catches some kind of flu these days could be construed as a terrorist threat. At least drop the exaggerated Texas twang this time around.
Ani DiFranco, "Untouchable Face" This may be the first song we're aware of where the singer is pissed at the object of her affection for having the temerity to be in a stable, happy relationship. Even Rick Springfield didn't hate Jesse's girl.
Ryan Adams and the Cardinals, "Come Pick Me Up" "Oh, oh, irony...no, we don't get that here. See, people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony's not really a high priority. We haven't had any irony here since about, uh, '83, when I was the only practitioner of it. And I stopped because I was tired of being stared at." What we're saying is, Ryan Adams shouldn't sing this song in Nelson, B.C.
Violent Femmes, "Kiss Off" Rocks Off is on an ongoing mission to help the Femmes regain the cred that was lost by letting Ethan Hawke sing "Add it Up" in Reality Bites . It's going to take a while.
Alanis Morrissette, "You Oughta Know" Okay fine, if we admit that our current girlfriend won't "go down on me in a theater," will you finally admit you have no idea what "ironic" means?
Fleetwood Mac, "Go Your Own Way" Having seen the hairstyles Lindsey Buckingham favored in the 1970s, we're not surprised Stevie Nicks was so intent on "packing up." Or maybe she had a time machine and wanted to disentangle herself from him before "Go Insane" came out.
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