Twilight: Eclipse And Other Promising Summer Soundtracks
Summer isn't just the time to look forward to astronomically budgeted, noisy, overproduced blockbuster films, it's also the time to look forward to astronomically budgeted, noisy, overproduced blockbuster soundtracks. Is Graeme Revell still dicking around with ProTools? He is? Oh, super! Anyway, among all the bombast, there are usually a few soundtracks worth looking forward to, so here are our picks for the most anticipated soundtracks of the upcoming summer. Twilight: Eclipse: We're not sure how or why this keeps happening, but the pre-teen Mormon stalker-porn that is the Twilight series keeps attracting knockout lineups for its soundtracks, and the upcoming installment is no exception. Just revealed yesterday on the film's MySpace page - yeah, when movies started having their own MySpace pages, that's when Rocks Off left - the soundtrack will feature Metric, Muse, The Black Keys, The Dead Weather and a collaboration between Beck and fucking Bat For Lashes. We don't know why all these musical geniuses keep allowing their output to be the score for a pair of glowering fashion models unhappily competing for a needy, uninteresting Stephenie Meyer stand-in who wears the same magical underwear as Glenn Beck, but whatever you think of the films, that roster cannot be argued with. It's like Bonnaroo for glitter-suckers.
Jonah Hex: An obscure comic-book cowboy badass who alternates between shooting the shit out of those who would prey upon the weak and getting knee-walking drunk, Jonah Hex seems like he'd go over well with modern-day audiences. This probably explains why the studio has monkeyed around with the film extensively, changing directors more often than Rush Limbaugh changes pain-pill prescriptions. By now Hex basically looks like the final chapter in the "Flintlock Vigilante Shitstorm" trilogy that began with League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and continued with Van Helsing. However, back when the film still had a tiny bit of potential, Mastodon were hired to do the soundtrack. And we're always up for new Mastodon material, even if it isn't the original soundtrack they were going to hand in before they changed the tone of the film and brought in a director who thought he should be the one who tells goddamn Mastodon what to do musically. Seriously, avoid the studio-mutilated clusterfuck of a film and just stick to the soundtrack. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World: This indie flick based on an indie comic and directed by the same guy who did Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz looks like it's going to be the greatest thing ever. Michael Cera resumes the role of Michael Cera, who must battle a series of ex-boyfriends for the affections of his dream girl - except it's less like a schoolyard fight and more like the trials of Hercules, because everyone involved has superpowers. Nigel Godrich (Radiohead's OK Computer) is producing the soundtrack, which, like Twilight: Eclipse, will feature Beck and Metric, as well as Broken Social Scene, Dan "The Automator" Nakamura and will even feature a bass guitar vs. synthesizer fight between Beck and avant-garde musician Cornelius. Seems like the only thing bad about this movie will be the inevitable overuse of the word "hipster" in its upcoming reviews.
Get Him to the Greek: Remember Russell Brand's spot-on charming prick of a rock star from Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Well, instead of shooting the spin-off we'd hoped for (in which Kristen Bell and Mila Kunis spend most of the film nakedly exploring one another), director Nicholas Stoller is making a spin-off based on said rock star and Jonah Hill's attempt to get the unruly freak to some kind of anniversary gig on time. Maybe the film will be worth seeing and maybe it won't, but the soundtrack will definitely be worth a listen, as it is scored entirely by songs from Brand's fictional band Infant Sorrow. Come on, even if you're not all that fond of Brand's humor - and we notice people who dislike his humor are usually more put off by his appearance than his jokes - Infant Sorrow is such a great band name it should have already been taken. MacGruber: Will Forte and Kristen Wiig's upcoming feature-length film version of their popular Saturday Night Live skit of the same name will either validate SNL skits as feature film fodder or remind us why they stopped stretching five-minute skits to 90-minute movies in the first place. We have to admit, the trailers look pretty funny, but the soundtrack might be the craziest damn thing we've ever seen. The Black Keys' "Heavy Soul" is immediately followed by Toto's "Rosanna," and the whole thing is like that, alternating between guitar-drenched film-trailer music (The Hives' "Tick Tick Boom") and ridiculous '80s throwbacks (Michael Bolton's "Love Is a Wonderful Thing"). But that's not why we have to hear this soundtrack. No, according to its Amazon page, this sonofabitch has an explicit version of Mr. Mister's "Broken Wings." We're in. We are so in. Note: Click here to score free passes for an advance screening of MacGruber.
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