UPDATED: If Lightnin' Hopkins Can't Save the Texans, No One Can

Arian Foster, meet Lightnin' Hopkins. Play nice.
Arian Foster, meet Lightnin' Hopkins. Play nice.
Arian Foster: Marco TorresLightnin' Hopkins: Jules Grandgagnage

The Houston Texans are hosting a playoff game tomorrow, but only after a spectacular late-season collapse that cost them the AFC's top seed and invoked every Oileresque axiom about Houston sports being flat-out cursed. Since about the time the Texans' offense was unable to convert on third down against Minnesota all game long, ever-optimistic Houston fans have suspected the 2012-13 season is doomed. But forfeiting Saturday would be unsportsmanlike, so they have to play the game anyway.

Hell, they might even win, if Arian Foster eats some extra Namaste and the secondary can do a halfway decent job of covering just one Cincinnati receiver. (Tall order.) Obviously, the team needs a little motivation. There might still be a way for them to win, but now is not the time for a pep talk. . Whatever pregames the Texans have been doing to fire themselves up these past few weeks have been working about as well as a wet match. They need to invoke the dark arts of mojo and hoodoo.

It's time for the Houston Texans to get the blues. If it wadn't for bad luck, they wouldn't have no luck at all.

UPDATE (12:45 p.m.): Of course Bun B, perhaps the biggest Texans fan of all, is still a believer. This morning 97.9 The Box debuted Bun, Teddy Rose and Bobby Lamar's "Here We Go (Houston Texans Theme Song)." Have a listen.

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