—————————————————— What Happened: 20 Lyrical Shots Of Tequila | Rocks Off | Houston | Houston Press | The Leading Independent News Source in Houston, Texas

Miles-tones

What Happened: 20 Lyrical Shots Of Tequila

"Tequila. Straight. There's a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won't go down"

- actor Lee Marvin (R.I.P.)

How out of it is Rocks Off after Wednesday night's sublime Arcade Fire show? Even though we've known about it for weeks, it took us until late this morning to realize that Jimmy Buffett is in town tonight. Which is May 5. Which is Cinco de Mayo.

Talk about a gringo honeymoon. Ever since the Champs hit No. 1 in 1958 with their yakity-sax romp "Tequila" - which also doubles as the song's sole lyric; do a shot every time they yell it in the song and you'll get a nice buzz indeed - the essence of agave has been helping norteamericanos lose their inhibitions, enchiladas and cases of writer's block.

Journey with us now to a land south of that mythical border, where clothes come off (and sometimes go on), lights get shot out and a tipsy Alanis Morrissette talks to a pregnant woman's stomach. As Cypress Hill once said, eat the worm, motherfucker.

Joe Nichols, "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off":

I told her put an extra layer on/ I know what happens when she drinks Patron

Paradiso Girls, "Patron Tequila":

Hey girl, I got bud, we can all get fucked up tonight/ And by the end of the night I'ma have you drunk and throwin' up

Paul Wall, "I'm On Patron":

I'm on Patron, I just took some shots to the dome/ I'm gone, so gone, so throwed can I get a ride home?

Alanis Morissette, "On the Tequila":

She was like, "hey where was this part of you when I wasn't pregnant"/ I laughed and did a shot in her honor/ As I conversed with her belly

Brooks & Dunn, "Tequila":

Wake up in the mornin hurtin' head skinned knees/ Ain't no doubt about whats puttin' a whoopin' on me

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Chris Gray has been Music Editor for the Houston Press since 2008. He is the proud father of a Beatles-loving toddler named Oliver.
Contact: Chris Gray