What the $#!& Is Metallica Wearing?!

This man loves vests.
This man loves vests.
Photo by Craig Hlavaty

Back in the '80s, Metallica was the shit of all shits. We all know this. If you were alive then and you were into metal, I'm sure you have some pictures with you wearing a) a Metallica T-shirt or b) the exact clothes Metallica would wear.

But things changed. I'll leave out all the details, because I'm going to guess everyone's heard a couple of the band's albums over the last 20 years. More relevant here is the fact that somewhere along the way into the '90s, the Metallica members lost their damn minds when it came to dressing themselves.

It's become really bad lately, but as some of these examples will show, things weren't much better around the very moment they became world-famous.

What the $#!& Is Metallica Wearing?!

James and his Vest We're guessing James found a box in his closet which had this message on it: "Dear Jaymz in 2010, metal up your ass! Yeeeeaaahhh! Hope you're still partying hard and kicking out the jams! Here's some of my totally rad shit for you to find when you're old! Eet fuk, Jaymz in 1985!" Inside were a skateboard, some dimebags of weed, some bottles of booze, some Diamond Head cassette tapes and this vest, which James has taken to wearing all the time now.

What the $#!& Is Metallica Wearing?!

Lars doesn't know how to wear a suit Come on, man. It's the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! Everybody else cleaned up nice for this one! The least you could do is make an effort.


Kirk's mustache Lest you think this is a recent development, dig Kirk's mustache from 1991, making him appear to be some kind of Spanish lothario.

James and his mullet Some time in 1994-1995, James decided that the mullet was in. James has done some questionable hairstyles over the years in general, but this one pretty much takes the cake. James and his hair experiments are so hilarious and embarrassing that there's actually a whole Web site dedicated to them.

James and Armani The amazing thing to me here is just the amount of money James probably paid for whatever is inside that Armani bag and how bad it's probably going to look on him. And before you think this was a one-time poor decision in fashion, feast your eyes on this.

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