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Where Did Matisyahu's Beard Go? We Found It!

Where Did Matisyahu's Beard Go? We Found It!

Rapper Matthew Paul Miller, stage name Matisyahu, made waves this week by tweeting a picture of his face, shorn of the trademark Chassidic beard, along with a message promising "an amazing year filled with music of rebirth." The message on his personal site also mentioned "rules" in his chosen religion.

Whatever the reason, we applaud Mr. Miller for having the guts to make a change, especially in regards to his religious journey. He's been somewhat of a hero to kids born into Judaism or those just exploring what's out there. It can't be easy to be in Miller's shoes, but it's probably very thrilling to be free.

Rabbi Yonah Bookstein has a cool take on the baby debacle over at the Huffington Post. Comments on Miller's site have ranged from people being supportive of his change of heart, to almost angry at "letting them down."

So of course, we had to put Miller's discarded beard onto other musical superstars, right? It just wouldn't be a Rocks Off production without a few hee-hees and guffaws...

Where Did Matisyahu's Beard Go? We Found It!
Photos By Monica Fuentes

Here is Matisyahu as you have known him since he broke big in 2004.

Where Did Matisyahu's Beard Go? We Found It!

Hey Adam Levine! Are you getting ready to audition for a Brian Wilson biopic?

Where Did Matisyahu's Beard Go? We Found It!

You know, with a healthy beard like this, I think Adele's songs about romantic longing and heartbreak would actually be more heartbreaking, because she's like, a bigger girl with a beard, you know? It's almost doubly tragic. Plus, the beard can cover up throat surgery scars.

Where Did Matisyahu's Beard Go? We Found It!

Sure, Michael Buble, that whole baby-faced 21st Century Sinatra act has gotten you pretty far, but can you imagine the trust-fund hippie-chicks you could pull into the arenas with a crotch-broom like this? Better add a swing version of "Sugar Magnolia" into the set.  

Where Did Matisyahu's Beard Go? We Found It!

No better way to pull away from a brother act than by totally dropping out of the pop racket with a beard that belongs at a coffee shop in Seattle. Watch out ladies, his beard holds secrets!

Where Did Matisyahu's Beard Go? We Found It!

Roots music and Americana finally jumps the shark in the pop world, as Justin Bieber and his newly-husky voice tackles a covers album of Fleet Foxes, Bon Iver, and Bonnie "Prince" Billy deep cuts. His version of Neil Young's "Down By The River" with Jim James on mandolin made men openly weep at Bonnaroo, in the best way possible. Predictably, Selena Gomez takes up auto-harp.

Where Did Matisyahu's Beard Go? We Found It!

The beard finds new life with Ke$ha, an avowed beard fetishist. The sex tape that leaks is underwhelming. They break up soon after.


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