Much like most Houstonians, I will be in front of a television on Sunday watching our Houston Texans play the Miami Dolphins at Reliant Stadium. It's a big and promising year for our team, one of only professional sports franchises in town that are successful.
Did you know that Billy Ray Cyrus is playing the halftime show Sunday? Is there a chance our defensive line can run on the field and tackle him?
I have been to a handful of games at Reliant. The energy is great, the volume of the crowd is near-painful, and you feel at one with every other rabid fan in the building -- even the guys in face paint screaming like they are being burned alive.
The only problem is that like every other sports franchise in the United States, the Texans use bland jock-jam rock to pump us up, with that Slim Thug and Paul Wall fight song thrown in for good measure.
As a pretentious Texas homer -- an unrepentant lover of all things Texas -- I wondered aloud at the last game I attended why the Texans don't use more Texas music at the games. Disturbed, Nickelback, Metallica, Creed and AC/DC are too easy, but they seem to get the job done.
When I asked this question my little hopes were dashed when a Rocks Off follower reminded me, in not so many words, that the unwanted association with country music and Texas is hard to shake. We could be stuck with lame-dick non-outlaw country, or worse, poppy pap in cowboy hats that sometimes passes for country.
Sorry Clay Walker, who is singing he national anthem before the game, but you don't get us motivated to break bones and crush skulls.
"Pantera would be nice but you know they won't play them because it's not family-friendly," our friend added. "Plus Pantera were Cowgirls fans," .
He's correct. As a Dallas-area residents, Dimebag and Vinnie were/are Cowboys fans. Phil is a die-hard Saints supporter since he is NOLA, and I don't know about Rex actually, but I am sure he loves the Saints.
And yes, their songs aren't family-oriented but in 2012 they are nearly classic-rock (cringe) or close to being safe again. Maybe just a quite edit of "Walk" or "Mouth For War"? Anything but the Nickelback song about getting ready for whatever the hell.
Another friend actually said that he would miss Disturbed's "Down With The Sickness". Talk about Stockholm Syndrome. Yeah, it's funny how the things we would normally detest become dear to our hearts when they are connected to sports.
Like Gary Glitter.
So in the spirit of this sure to be thrilling Houston Texans season, here is a playlist of great Texas music to listen to when you are sick of the announcers blabbering.
Maybe Spoon's "I Turn My Camera On" could be used for when these scab refs have to look at replay footage to screw us over, or the Black Angels' droning "You On the Run" can be played at near deafening levels during opponent's drives.
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Fuck it, let them hear some Rusted Shut. That could melt their brains inside their helmets.Maybe they can cover Rage Against The Machine's "Bulls On Parade".