It's 8:30 p.m. in a crowded studio and the Snowman is nowhere to be seen. It's his V.I.P. record listening party and I, the sole white dude, stick out like a sore thumb. As with any rap function, nothing is going as scheduled. Important people are still showing up, and they aren't even serving food yet.
And what food it is—the hosts are about to hook this party up with smothered pork chops, mac-n-cheese, mashed potatoes, collard greens and corn bread. Oh yeah, and there's plenty of drank. Hypnotiq, no less. It's like the set of House Party VI — but instead of waiting for the likes of Kid-n-Play, we are all waiting for the king of Trap music, Young Jeezy.
Sometime later, Jeezy shows up, but goes into a small room to the side. He is met there by real important peeps — Slim Thug, Trae, Mannie Fresh, Bun B, D Solo. Meanwhile, the crowd says grace in advance of our southern feast. Thug, it turns out, stands for "Thinking Higher Under God." Good to know.
While we eat DJ Jack Frost plays random tracks of one of a many Jeezy mix tape. Frost is the quintessential hype man and mediator. If you've never been to a hip-hop event, the hype man is the "go to guy" that keeps the crowd from losing their minds from waiting so long at these functions. He's the one that yells shit like, "Everyone drinkin' tonight?", "Is this side liver than that side?", and "They are about to tow a white Ford F-150, license plate..."
I do not envy this guy.
Mr. Trap Star himself finally makes an appearance and I begin to fear for my life. It's overcrowded and steaming hot up in hurr. The words "fire" and "hazard" come to mind. Each and every last person in this smokestand wants to take their picture with Jeezy.
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We preview some songs from his new album, "OUT DECEMBER 12TH ON DEF JAM, Y'ALL!" They're what you'd expect from the Snowman. Big. Crunk. One of the tracks, "Get to It," features R. Kelly, and is the hottest of the three. We are previewing songs on his new album — and no one seems to be listening. The songs are just background music for the barbeque.
They don't give us track listings for fear of leaks. So, in summary, here's how it went:
Track 1: Dope. Track 2: Crunk. Track 3: Didn't listen to it. Too busy gettin' my picture tooken wit Jeezy. — Sean McManus