10 Great Autumn Bikinis Not on St. Baart's
Yo, where's the bikinis??
Our list of 25 Best Reasons to Love Texas in the Autumn was, we were told, a little skimpy on the babes.
Not that there's anything inherently sexy about fall (although some dudes go nuts over the boots-with-dresses look), it's just that some folks think any listicle must include skimpily clad females.
See Also: - 12 Odd Bikini Pictures: A Haiku Tribute - 10 Hot Stars-and-Stripes Bikinis, and the Specific Parts of the U.S. Flag Code They Violate - 9 National Flag Bikinis and How They Embody Their National Anthems
Which makes it tough to put together a NASA list, but we digress.
Battle of the Piney Woods: SFA vs. SHSU
TicketsSat., Oct. 1, 3:00pm
University of Houston Cougars Football vs. Tulsa Golden Hurricane Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 15, 11:00am
Rice University Owls Football vs. UTSA Roadrunners Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 15, 6:00pm
Rice University Owls Football vs. Prairie View A&M University Football
TicketsSat., Oct. 22, 2:30pm
It is possible, we have discovered through assiduous research, to explore the world of autumn bikinis. And we don't mean by cheating via using swimwear shots from Australia or St. Baart's. We mean actual fall bikini shots.
10. This does mean fall, dammit Yeah, we know, we know -- but it says right on the bikini Web site this is an "autumn pattern bikini"!! And they're experts!!
We choose not to reason why there is Web video of a bikini-clad woman using a leaf-blower; we simply instead just use it.
8. Hey, she's named Autumn!! Autumn Reeser, to be exact. Apparently from The O.C. And it's
nippy cold enough for a fire, so it must be fall.
7. Faded love Fall is not all about the bursting explosion of color that's pictured on every Vermont postcard that doesn't include maple syrup. The season can also be a melancholy one of fading feelings, of a return to normal emotional sea level after a candle-on-both-ends summer tryst, and this suit exemplifies that more c'est la vie aspect.
6. Art in miniature A definite fall pattern, if possibly not the maximum amount of space on which to display that pattern.
4. Autumn has many different types of leaves And we're insisting that floppy orange thing she's holding is one of them.
3. We'll leave the lei jokes to you But this has something to do with autumn in Hawaii, which we assume is even less autumn-y than autumn in Texas, and they have to endure it without a state fair. OTOH, they endure it in a state without Dallas, so there's that.
2. Fall means fall means fall For some reason -- probably desperation -- bikini sellers have equated "autumn" with the Garden of Eden. Maybe as in The Fall? We didn't think they were so up on their Bible terms, but good for them.
At any rate, here's one of the Eden-esque takes.
To be sure, the young lass has a long way to go:
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.