10 Hot Stars-and-Stripes Bikinis, and the Specific Parts of the U.S. Flag Code They Violate
Especially if you are planning on wearing a stars-and-stripes bikini. We don't want to discourage you, of course, but here are ten examples of how innocent (or possibly just America-hating) young women have violated various guidelines. Beyond the whole "the flag should never be used as wearing apparel" thing, of course.
10. "The flag should never be used as a receptacle for receiving, holding, carrying, or delivering anything" We assume this applies to holding medically enhanced plastic boobs.
9. "When the flag is lowered, no part of it should touch the ground or any other object; it should be received by waiting hands and arms" We're guessing if those two flags were lowered, the waiting hands and arms would find other things to do besides handling a flag.
8. "When the flag is displayed from a staff...the union (stars) should be at the peak of the staff unless the flag is at half staff" Does this count as half staff?
7. "When displaying the flag...the flag's union (stars) should be at the top, to the flag's own right, and to the observer's left. " You're fine down below, miss, but the top is an absolute spit in the face of every brave Marine who's ever given his life for your freedom.
6. The flag "should not be embroidered, printed or otherwise impressed on such articles as cushions" Peaches Geldof, we rule that those things look pretty cushion-y to us.
5. When flown with other flags, "No other flag ever should be placed above it" Is that the flag of Papua New Guinea, or at least the black half of it? Princess Eugenie of York, you have been nabbed!!
4. "The flag should form a distinctive feature of the ceremony of unveiling a statue or monument, but it should never be used as the covering for the statue or monument" If ever there was a monument to the death of American culture, Jessica Simpson would be it.
3. "The flag should never have placed on it, or attached to it, any mark, insignia, letter, word, number, figure, or drawing of any kind" We may never vote for Sarah Palin, or her look-alike.
2. "The flag should never be fastened, displayed, used, or stored in such a manner as to permit it to be easily torn, soiled, or damaged in any way" Wait, why are you squatting and pulling away your bikini bottom? Flag damage alert!! Flag damage alert!!
1. "The flag should not be used as part of a costume or athletic uniform" You can either take off the hat and boots, Pamela Anderson, or you can take off the bikini. We suggest the latter.
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