10 Tweets From The Debates Over The Declaration Of Independence And Constitution

The fail whale won't go away, Washington
The fail whale won't go away, Washington

Every politician trying to be hip has a Twitter account now, tweeting furiously on hot-button issues and debates.

They didn't have no Twitter back when the Founding Fathers were debating the Declaration of Independence and, later, the Constitution and Bill of Rights.

Or so we thought. Recent research has uncovered a trove of colonial-era tweets. Here are ten:

@BenjaminFranklin: A finely turned ankle has distracted me from Adams' ranting, but no longer. *sigh*

@ButtonGwinnett: Yes, it's unspeakably hot in here, but at least I know my name will go down in history.

@TJefferson: This work 4 u guys? Whn, in crse hum evnts, it bec necess 4 1 ppl 2 dissolve th political bands whch hve connex them w/another(cont)

@SamuelChase: "Life, liberty & pursuit of ass" MUST be changed, in my view. Pursuit of...tail? Strange? Happiness? Keeping vague works better.

@JohnHancock: 2 my twitter peeps: Any way to get the font size bigger? REALLY bigger?

@BenjaminFranklin: New pick-up line: It's all about the Benjamin, baby. And YOU.

@YeOldeTalkingPtsMemo: MAJOR victory 4 abolitionists: Slaves count as 3/5ths of a person. FULLY 3/5ths. Complete humiliation for the 2/5ths crowd.

@TJefferson: totally annoyed w/calls 2 "clarify" church/state stuff. Absolutely clear already. What, they're gonna B arguing abt this 200 yrs from now?

@JohnAdams: I argue right 2 bear arms shd include discussion of possible super-machine guns of future, but am ignored. Aarrgh.

@JohnHancock: Absolutely PWNED the signing. Take that, suckaz!!

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