The University of Houston is having a contest, and you are invited to enter. The Cougar merchandise store inside the Athletics/Alumni Center has been taken over by Barnes & Noble, and will henceforth no longer be known as Cougar Authentic. Thus, the university is seeking your input as to a new name for the store. Of course, being me, I've got a few suggestions.
1. The Mack Daddy Shop. In honor athletic director Mack Rhoades.
2. Heismans "R" Us. Just in case QB Case Keenum doesn't get the national attention he deserves this season. And if there's any QB in the NCAA who deserves the attention, it's Keenum.
3. Out of Stock. Come on, it's Barnes & Noble. Since when do they ever have anything but Twilight crap?
4. The Parking Stop. Maybe if you tell the commuters they can get some parking passes there, they'll buy some UH merchandise.
5. The Longhorn Store. In honor of all of those assholes who like to walk around the UH campus wearing UT colors, logos, and gear.
6. Kevin's Place. Come on in and pick up the same polo shirts worn by Kevin Sumlin and his staff on the sidelines.
7. Your Name Here. For the right price, you too can have your name on a UH building.
8. Rebecca's Boutique. BMC founder and former San Diego Padres owner John Moores and his wife Rebecca contributed the money that was used to pay for the Athletic/Alumni Center. Then John decided to cheat on Rebecca. And Rebecca filed for divorce. I'm sure if you check the divorce papers you'll see that she got the merchandise store as part of the divorce.
9. Coaches' Paradise. Hey, Mack Rhoades had to buy out a lot of contracts this past year, primarily those of Tom Penders and Rayner Noble, and he's got to get that money from somewhere.
10. Clyde's Glide. Did you know Clyde Drexler had a sports merchandise shop at IAH? Did you know it's almost impossible to find UH stuff there? No fear, he's been saving all of that stuff for the campus location.
11. Tier One: The Merchandise Store. Hey, if the school wants to be Tier One so bad, they could start with the merchandise store.
12. University of Houston Athletic Store, University Park. In honor of when the central campus was known as University of Houston, University Park.
13. The Houston Dynamo Shop. Hey, at least Dynamo fans actually go to games at Robertson Stadium.
14. Carl's Collection. No hurdle too high, no jump too long for the staff of a merchandise store named after UH track great Carl Lewis.
16. Nantz's Nooks. Walk into a store named after UH grad Jim Nantz. Then immediately fall asleep as Nantz's exciting calls of The Masters are piped throughout the store.
17. Shasta's Shack. In honor, of course, of the school's mascot Shasta.
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18. The Fundraising Shop. Not only can you find UH athletic merchandise, but now you can buy that overpriced KUHT merchandise without having to sit through one of the countless fundraising drives.
19. Flat Tires. I swear that I'm going to get a flat tire from all of the potholes I have to dodge on Cullen while trying to reach the Athletics/Alumni Center, Hofheinz Pavilion, or Robertson Stadium.
20. The University Store. Yeah, it's kind of boring. But it makes sense.
Joking aside, if you're interested in the entering the contest, just click here. You have until July 23 to submit an entry. The winner will receive $100 in merchandise and four tickets to a 2010 Cougar football game.