First, a big thank-you to everybody who helped me cobble together what I think is now a complete 2013 Crimesman Trophy scoreboard. I had no idea there were so many places that tracked NFL crime on the internet!
Knowing that these resources are indeed available, who's in with me on an NFL Crime Fantasy league next offseason? As fans of the NFL, we need some way to bide our time through the summer months. The combine, draft and free agency sustain us until May, but damn that pesky "May through training camp" period. OTAs just aren't enough.
$200 entry fee, eight owners, everyone drafts four NFL teams and you get all the players on their roster. Misdemeanors are worth one point, regular felonies are worth three points, murders are worth ten points.
I think it would work.
And if we did do this, right about now the owner of the Patriots in our fantasy crime league would be sitting on the crime fantasy equivalent of Arian Foster readying himself for a game against the Jaguars defense.
The elusive "10 points for murder" is firmly in play with Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez!
In case you've been living under a rock, on Tuesday news broke that a rental car tied to Hernandez was spotted near a crime scene where the dead body of a 27-year-old semi-pro football player named Odin Lloyd was found, near Hernandez's home in North Attleboro, MA.
Even worse, if you're trying to set the scene on this thing, if the reports are correct, apparently Lloyd was shot and his body then dumped at the industrial park about a mile from Hernandez's home.
And if you're wondering just how firmly "10 for murder" is in play, whereas reports at first were merely that Hernandez was being uncooperative and not ruled out as a suspect, now come some details that paint a pretty bleak picture for any Patriots fan hoping his tight end is going to come out of this clean.
Lloyd was reportedly dating the sister of Hernandez's girlfriend, and according to Fox 25 in Boston, Hernandez was out with Lloyd and two other men the night of the murder:
A law enforcement official tells FOX 25 Hernandez appears to be directly tied to the homicide which is why authorities executed a search warrant at his home Tuesday night. According to the same source, Hernandez, Lloyd, and two other men were at a bar in Boston the night of the homicide, and at some point, the four men left together in a car driven by Hernandez which was confirmed by a text Lloyd sent another friend, the source says.
It is unclear where the car went or what happened during the ride, but according to the source only three men returned to Hernandez's home at the end of the night and Lloyd was not one of them.
The source also says forensic evidence places a vehicle driven by Hernandez at one of the crime scenes in this case.
Initial reaction: Yikes. The gambler in me evaluates all of the occurrences thus far: a dozen cops looking for evidence at an "uncooperative" suspect's house, rental cars linked to said suspect, friends of his supposedly in his house attempting to leave when officers arrived, um, Hernandez being out with Lloyd the night he was killed... I'd say the odds of Hernandez emerging from this clean, without some knowledge of something, well, I'd bet against it.
(UPDATE 9:38 a.m.: According to Steve Silva of Boston.com: "Hearing via law source that Aaron Hernandez will be arrested in connection with Attleborough murder." So yeah, getting ready to cash my ticket.)
Especially when TMZ follows up Tuesday's escapades with this beauty:
New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez was sued earlier this month for allegedly shooting a man in the face following an altercation at a Miami strip club ... TMZ has learned.
The lawsuit was filed in federal court in Florida on June 13 -- five days before investigators searched the NFL star's Massachusetts home in connection with a homicide investigation that appears to be unrelated.
According to the lawsuit, obtained by TMZ, Hernandez and Alexander S. Bradley went to Tootsie's Cabaret in Miami on February 13, 2013 ... and during the outing, the two men got into an argument.
Bradley claims ... After the dispute, both men left the club -- and got into the same car which was heading to Palm Beach. During the ride, Aaron allegedly aimed his weapon at Bradley ... and the gun discharged, striking Bradley in the face.
Bradley claims he suffered major injuries from the gunshot ... including the loss of his right eye.
Bradley also claimed he required major surgery to reconstruct his face ... which required plates and screws. Bradley also claims he suffered damage to his right hand and arm, which also required surgery.
There's more -- Bradley claims Aaron was not licensed to carry a firearm in the first place.
Bradley demanded more than $100,000.
But just 4 days after Bradley filed the lawsuit, the case was DISMISSED ... and all signs point to settlement.
Holy shit? Kind of? Right? Especially if there indeed is a settlement, it means something happened.
The only way this thing can now end in satisfying fashion is with Hernandez, in an homage to the 19-year anniversary of the O.J. Simpson chase, interrupting Game 7 of the NBA Finals with a 50-car police chase down the Massachusetts Turnpike. Game 7 is already going to come close to breaking NBA ratings records. If it shares a split screen with an NFL murder-related police chase, it'll destroy previous NBA Finals records.
And if Tim Tebow (Hernandez's former teammate at Florida, and now current teammate, mind you) is driving the getaway car, it'll beat the numbers of the M*A*S*H series finale. Now, your updated and current Crimesman Trophy ratings...
2013 CRIMESMAN TROPHY STANDINGS
TITUS YOUNG, Free agent...3 arrests, 11 crimes May 4, suspicion of DUI May 4, burglary (stealing his car back) May 10-11, a bunch of felony burglary and shoplifting charges too numerous to list here with confidence that I'm being totally accurate
CLIFF HARRIS, Free agent...3 arrests, 3 crimes April 29, possession of marijuana May 3, domestic harassment May 7, failure to appear in court
AMARI SPIEVEY, Detroit Lions...1 arrest, 3 crimes March 26, third-degree assault, risk of injury to a child and disorderly conduct
MIKE GOODSON, New York Jets...1 arrest, 2 crimes May 17, drug possession, weapons charges
JOE MORGAN, New Orleans Saints...1 arrest, 2 crimes May 25, DWI, driving with no license
JASON PETERS, Philadelphia Eagles...1 arrest, 2 crimes June 12, drag racing and fleeing police
BRANDON BARDEN, Tennessee Titans...1 arrest, 1 crime February 23, DUI
MICHAEL BOLEY, Free agent...1 arrest, 1 crime February 8, child abuse
DA'QUAN BOWERS, Tampa Bay Buccaneers February 18, criminal possession of a weapon
ARMONTY BRYANT, Cleveland Browns...1 arrest, 1 crime May 3, DUI
DESMOND BRYANT, Cleveland Browns...1 arrest, 1 crime February 25, criminal mischief
QUINTON CARTER, Denver Broncos...1 arrest, 1 crime March 9, fraud in a casino
CODY GRIMM, Tampa Bay Buccaneers...1 arrest, 1 crime May 25, public intoxication
QUENTIN GROVES, Cleveland Browns...1 arrest, 1 crime April 17, solicitation of a prostitute
JAVARRIS JAMES, Arizona Cardinals...1 arrest, 1 crime March 7, failure to appear in court
TRUMAINE JOHNSON, St. Louis Rams...1 arrest, 1 crime March 22, DUI
ADAM" PACMAN" JONES, Cincinnati Bengals...1 arrest, 1 crime June 10, assault
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WILLIAM MOORE, Atlanta Falcons...1 arrest, 1 crime April 18, simple battery
AL NETTER, San Francisco 49ers February 20, DUI
DARYL WASHINGTON, Arizona Cardinals...1 arrest, 1 crime May 3, aggravated assault
Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 Yahoo! Sports Radio from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays and nationally on the Yahoo! Sports Radio network Saturdays from 10 a.m. to noon CST. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.