2013 NFL Crimesman Trophy: The New Orleans Saints Are on the Board!
The calendar flips over to June this weekend, which means that perennial criminals are going to need their game up if they're going to make a dent in this offseason's Crimesman Trophy standings for outstanding criminal performance among NFL players.
Much like some ballparks in MLB lend themselves to gaudier offensive statistics, so too do some NFL cities lend themselves to higher arrest likelihoods, and if there's a Coors Field of NFL cities, by God, it's New Orleans.
Miraculously, up until this past weekend, we haven't (to my knowledge) had a Saint find his way onto the police blotter yet this offseason, but that all changed last Friday night.
Thank you, Joe Morgan!
Here is the story (courtesy of nola.com):
New Orleans Saints wide receiver Joe Morgan was arrested in Jefferson Parish early Saturday morning for allegedly driving while intoxicated. State Police booked Morgan, 25, with DWI and driving with no license, according to arrest reports.
State Police Spokeswoman Trooper Melissa Matey said someone called in a report of a disabled vehicle on the Earhart Expressway in Jefferson early Saturday morning. The responding trooper arrived and found Morgan asleep behind the wheel of his vehicle, which was parked on the shoulder of the Earhart Expressway near Causeway Boulevard in Jefferson, the arrest report said. The trooper woke Morgan and had him step out of the vehicle.
But the trooper noticed Morgan seemed intoxicated, according to the report. He was swaying on his feet, smelled of alcohol and had unsteady balance and bloodshot eyes, the report said.
After Morgan performed poorly on a field sobriety test, the trooper arrested him about 6:22 a.m. and took him the Jefferson Parish Correctional Center in Gretna, Matey said. Morgan's blood alcohol content registered 0.218 percent, more than twice the 0.08-percent legal limit, the arrest report said.
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It almost doesn't seem fair to have the 0.08-percent legal limit applied to Louisiana. I mean, I'm pretty sure if you're within a three-mile radius of the French Quarter, the mere waft of that invisible cloud of alcohol fumes, feces, vomit and urine is enough to push you to 0.10 automatically before you even take a sip of a drink. It's goddamn entrapment, is what it is.
Also, what's the deal with guys deciding to use their cars as some sort of mobile hotel room? I mean, I suppose it's better than trying to drive to an actual hotel, but you're professional athletes...a $30 cab ride is a major issue for you?
At any rate, Morgan entered this offseason as the Saints' No. 3 receiver. He caught 10 passes for 379 yards and three touchdowns in 2012 with seven of his 10 receptions gaining 30 or more yards. And he's now busted his New Orleans arrest cherry.
Nice job, Joe!
Going forward, in an effort to keep track of the Crimesman Trophy race for 2013, any time we add someone to the list (or, in the case of Titus Young or Cliff Harris, after their next crime), we will make appropriate adjustments to the scoreboard below.
As this is the initial "big board" for the award. I've compiled the list below with the benefit of a decent amount of research, but if I'm missing anybody from this list, please, by all means, let me know. Eligibility rules are as follows:
- Crime must be committed after the final seconds tick off of the clock in the Super Bowl and before the start of training camp.
- Free agents are eligible as long as they have not officially announced their retirement, AND were on an NFL roster at any point the previous season. (We will call this the "Rolando McClain Rule.")
As you'll see below, Titus Young is going to be awfully tough to catch, but his incarceration has opened the door for Cliff Harris or seemingly any member of the Cleveland Browns to possibly catch him for the award.
TITUS YOUNG, Free agent...3 arrests, 11 crimes May 4, suspicion of DUI May 4, burglary (stealing his car back) May 10-11, a bunch of felony burglary and shoplifting charges too numerous to list here with confidence that I'm being totally accurate
CLIFF HARRIS, Free agent...3 arrests, 3 crimes April 29, possession of marijuana May 3, domestic harassment May 7, failure to appear in court
MIKE GOODSON, New York Jets...1 arrest, 2 crimes May 17, drug possession, weapons charges
JOE MORGAN, New Orleans Saints...1 arrest, 2 crimes May 25, DWI, driving with no license
MICHAEL BOLEY, Free agent...1 arrest, 1 crime February 8, child abuse
DESMOND BRYANT, Cleveland Browns...1 arrest, 1 crime February 25, criminal mischief
ARMONTY BRYANT, Cleveland Browns...1 arrest, 1 crime May 3, DUI
QUENTIN GROVES, Cleveland Browns...1 arrest, 1 crime April 17, solicitation of a prostitute
WILLIAM MOORE, Atlanta Falcons...1 arrest, 1 crime April 18, simple battery
DARYL WASHINGTON, Arizona Cardinals...1 arrest, 1 crime May 3, aggravated assault
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