Every year, flacks for an organization called World Vision send us information about their "30 Hour Famine" fundraiser for hungry brown children in faraway lands, and every year wetry our best to make fun of it.
Houston church youth groups will take part in the nationwide fundraiser, although the dates are different, as World Vision allows each group to "Plan Your Famine."
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And in much the same way that kids who go life-threateningly hungry for more than 30 hours at a time, the kids who participate in this event will have fun activities for before, during and after the famine. (World Vision helpfully suggests activities, promising that "We've got everything you need for an unforgettable Famine.") They'll also be free to consume liquids for the duration.
Of course, not all groups fast for 30 hours, because that would be a drag. As in Bangladesh, the famines are often broken up by DEE-licious spaghetti suppers, and kids under 12 are urged not to go the full 30 hours, because that wouldn't be healthy. But we're sure they'll still understand what it's like to actually live in a place with no food.
Hair Balls remembers one time when we were totally jonesing for some Sonic tater tots and our friend was all "Just give me five more minutes, dude," and we totally almost passed out. We didn't have a distended belly or flies buzzing around our sunken eyes or a giant vulture standing five feet away, biding its time until our atrophied internal organs finally gave out so it skins what little flesh there was still left on our ribs. But we were still fucking hungry!
We commend World Vision and the participating church groups for raising money to help the less fortunate. We just wish they'd find a way to do it without patronizing the people they're helping, and without trivializing desperate conditions by believing there's actually a way to approximate them.