A Call to Arms

Louie Gohmert

Highlights from Hair Balls

Political Animals

Congressman Louie Gohmert is always coming up with, shall we say, interesting ideas. But his latest brain baby takes the cake. According to Gohmert, African Americans should oppose gay marriage because they won the right to oppose things with the Civil Rights movement.

The East Texas Congressman used his time on a radio show last week to expand on his views that African Americans should take up arms against gay marriage on the basis of "religious freedom." His reasoning? Well, according to Gohmert, black people fought in the Civil Rights movement for their own freedoms, leaving them free to now fight against legalizing gay marriage, and to potentially discriminate against gay people specifically because they are gay, à la Arizona.

Gohmert was interviewed by conservative radio host Janet Mefferd. The duo had a nice chat, as reported by Raw Story, about how black people in general, and preachers in particular, have been surprised to find that people are drawing correlations between one group of people being arbitrarily denied certain rights and another group of people being similarly denied basic rights. Yup, makes no sense at all.

"Some of them are very shocked; they participated in the Civil Rights movement," Gohmert said. "And then to turn around and have gay rights folks saying, now, 'You can't practice your religious beliefs.'"

It's a relatively clever twist on, well, thinking, honestly. Even Gohmert realizes that he won't get far with an argument based on the fact that there are plenty of black people alive today who remember the old days when they weren't allowed to marry someone of another race in many states. So he's trying to step around it by talking about "religious freedom."

And in a way he is right. People have the right to support or not support lots of things in this country, but that doesn't change the fact that, looking back, the laws that were in place and the social fabric of the past seem barbaric now. With some luck, the day and age of denying people the right to marry based on gender will also become a thing of the barbaric past.

We moved another step toward that future last week. While Gohmert was on the radio spouting off about how gay marriage should be banned and how the people of Arizona should be legally allowed to deny service to gay people based on "religious freedom," a federal judge struck down the marriage ban in Texas. Then the governor of Arizona vetoed the "religious freedom" legislation. Sadly Gohmert didn't subsequently announce plans to move to the great state of Arizona to carry on his mission to lead Arizona's African Americans to the freedom of oppressing others, but you can't win them all.

Game Time

Aaron Hernandez Just Served Someone a Beatdown Behind Bars.

Sean Pendergast

Since going away to prison while awaiting trial on murder charges, and other than for the occasional appearances for status updates on said trial, Aaron Hernandez has almost completely faded into the background.

For the sake of content, this has been a bad thing, but I suppose for the sake of society, safety and justice, it's a good thing.

Now, I have no idea how prison works (for that, I am thankful), but I would like to think that there are periodic evaluations, like an employee review in a workplace or a report card in school. After all, we all want to know how well we are doing our job, right?

If indeed the Bristol County jail in Connecticut had report cards, it would appear that Aaron Hernandez would score poorly in the category of "plays well with others."

Courtesy of, Hernandez apparently had a beef last week with another ­inmate:

"Sources tell us the former New England Patriots tight end — who is usually segregated from the general population — was allowed to take a walk in an isolated hallway...but somehow came into contact with another inmate.

"We're told Hernandez recognized the other inmate and launched into an attack — beating the other man up pretty badly.

"Sources tell us...Hernandez and the other man had been beefing all day long. One source says the other guy had been harassing Aaron nonstop. Clearly, Hernandez was pissed.

"The 24-year-old has been locked up since June 26th — he's facing murder charges stemming from the 2013 shooting death of semi-pro football player Odin Lloyd.

"Officials had placed Hernandez in solitary confinement out of concern he would be a target behind bars due to his celebrity status."

More information followed that the whole fight between Hernandez and the instigating inmate wasn't exactly conducted on even terms, according to

Apparently, the unnamed dude was still in his handcuffs while Hernandez was unfettered by any shackles, chains or metallic constraints of any sort, which means that either this was an agreed-to match with the most lopsided WWE stipulation since CM Punk had to wrestle the entire Shield at the same time, or (more likely) Hernandez had some inside help in ensuring the two would conveniently "bump into each other" while Hernandez was not cuffed:

"Our sources tell us...Aaron was NOT wearing handcuffs when he was allowed to go for an isolated walk in a hallway at Bristol County Jail on Tuesday...but the other inmate he encountered WAS in 'cuffs.

"As we first reported, the other inmate had been talking smack to Hernandez...and Aaron had been upset. When they got into the hallway, Aaron attacked...and we're told he beat the crap out of the guy.

"Our sources say...since the victim's hands were restrained, he could barely defend himself from Aaron's assault, which we're told was brutal."

I brought this up on my afternoon radio show on SportsRadio 610, and I actually had a handful of previously incarcerated people call the show (I love my formerly incarcerated listeners!) and they said they had no doubt that Hernandez was able to convince his guards (either through a built friendship, an offered financial incentive or by taking advantage of some jock sniffing) to allow him to take his daily walk in the hallway at the same time as the inmate who was bugging him would be walking through cuffed.

Bristol County Sheriff Thomas Hodgson has told media outlets that the fight lasted less than a minute. Hodgson says he's investigating the situation to find out how the men got into the hallway at the same time.

A few observations on this story:

1. Okay, if you need any proof that the worst, scariest, most insane people on the planet are in our prison system, just know this — you know Aaron Hernandez? The guy who killed Odin Lloyd in cold blood (allegedly), who killed two other people the summer before just because (possibly) and who shot a round into a car at an intersection his freshman year at Florida (probably)? The guy who is covered in gang tattoos and has a smirk on his face in court who looks like he drinks homicide for breakfast?

Well, prison has a dude that fucks with that guy just for fun. (Granted, the instigator got his ass kicked, but still, he exists. For now.)

2. The Hernandez punching bag had been "beefing" with Hernandez "all day long," which is amazing considering that Hernandez is generally segregated from the general population. That's some serious effort on the part of that inmate. So not only does he mess with Hernandez, he actually strains to mess with Hernandez. Ballsy.

3. Honestly, I'm fearful for my life every time I type a blog post making fun of Aaron Hernandez, and he's incarcerated. This dude messed with him face to face! Respect.

4. This article labels Odin Lloyd as a "semi-pro football player." So ("HOT SPORTS TAKE" time) tell me...what's your favorite Odin Lloyd football moment, and where does he rank on your Mount Rushmore of dead semi-pro football players??

The jail claims that the common area in which the altercation took place is supposed to house only one prisoner at a time, and they are reviewing the incident to see where the breakdown may have occurred.

Suggestion: They may want to start with the bank accounts of the assigned prison guards.

I will now wait patiently for the next Hernandez associate or family member to die sometime soon.

It's been at least a few weeks.

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