A Howard Stern Wanna-Be, With A Somewhat Confused Dream
Hair Balls got an e-mail fromThe Men’s View
, a local podcast that models itself after, you guessed it,The View
Apparently the show has been picked as a finalist for Sirius Radio’s “I Want to be Howard Stern” contest, which will give one lucky winner a one-time, one-hour show on Stern’s station. And by apparently, we mean, kind of, but not really.
Rice Owls Mens Basketball vs. Charlotte Mens Basketball
TicketsSat., Jan. 28, 7:00pm
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 10AM-3PM
TicketsMon., Jan. 30, 10:00am
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 3PM-8PM
TicketsMon., Jan. 30, 3:00pm
Super Bowl Opening Night Fueled By Gatorade
TicketsMon., Jan. 30, 7:00pm
Here’s an except from our chat with host H-Dizzle (aka Homi Barhamand):
DIZZLE: He put out a contest and the top three shows that make it in there are going to be vying to be one of the shows that he’ll pick from. So, we’re going to be one of the top three shows and then we’re going to go up to New York about mid-November, kind of.
Hair Balls: Wait, you are one of the top three shows?
DIZZLE: Yeah, we’re going to be one of the top three shows.
HB: Sorry, I’m confused. You’re going to be?
HB: So, you’ve already been selected? Or you think you will be?
DIZZLE: I’m almost positive, I’m going to be selected.
HB: But you don’t know for sure?
DIZZLE: Uh, it’s not a 100% sure thing, but it pretty much is. I can’t go on record saying it’s 100% but …
HB: When do you find out if you’re one of the top three?
DIZZLE: They’re going to reveal it on the network, so they’re really not allowed to say until then.
HB: And when will that be?
DIZZLE: I think it’s coming, I don’t know exact dates.
HB: You don’t know the exact dates? You probably want to find that out … it’s kind of a big deal ...
DIZZLE: It is a big deal, but they don’t give us the dates because his show changes day to day. But once they announce it, they’re going to fly us up there.
HB: If you win …
DIZZLE: Yeah, if we win the top three.
HB: But you don’t know when that is …
DIZZLE: They’ve given a vague date – November 15 is when they might announce it.
(Hair Balls did some extensive research (read: we googled “Howard Stern contest sirius”) and found out the first of the three finalists will appear on the Howard Stern show on November 3.)
H-Dizzle (yes, that’s how we will refer to him) says The Men’s View talks about current events, makes prank calls, reviews and previews television shows and discusses men’s issues such as hair loss, dating and circumcision.
More from H-Dizzle’s interview:
DIZZLE: We had a guy on recently that is anti-circumcision.
HB: Yeah, we did a story on that.
HB: Yeah, it was on the cover. (You know, the cover of that newspaper you e-mailed saying your show would be perfect their audience. Yeah, that paper, wrote a story about it.)
Here’s how we approach it. I don’t know the angle you all took, but at our show we try to figure out why is this guy doing this. Then we bring in our own stories about what it was like growing up for people on our show that either were circumcised or not circumcised. For example, getting picked on in middle school for not being circumcised – things guys go through in the locker room.
Then we kind of wanted to find out a little bit more about this guy and I don’t know if you did some research (Editor’s note: Yes, our reporter did do research), but we find out while talking to him that this guy, after doing the whole show and taking him as an expert, we find out this guy mows lawns for a living. And we thought it was some kind of doctor or something.
The guys also did a post-Ike show.
We were just giving our feelings how people were during the hurricane. For example, we couldn’t understand why all these people are buying water. You got these really fat women at Wal-Mart buying water but before the hurricane all they bought was Dr. Pepper and Coke – what’s suddenly making them buy water? Why don’t they just stick with the Dr. Pepper? Has it taken a hurricane to change your eating habits?
Man, there was a story we missed.
Hair Balls decided to tune into this particular episode. The guys started out by pulling a prank on their listeners: They said one of the hosts died during the hurricane. SIKE (or PSYCH!)
Next, the guys talked about how the power outages caused people in their apartment complex to come outside and meet each other. The hosts say they never knew how many attractive women were living near them – so why not decide to hit on them? It’s a little hard to differentiate between the hosts, but one suggested that power outages were perfect opportunities to hook up because “after two weeks of no electricity and women in the dark – [women] just want to fuck. They don't care what's there, it's there. If you have a masculine voice and they feel a penis in the dark poking them …”
Wow, that explains so much. We’re glad Green Mountain had our power back on quickly, so didn’t have to start dry-humping a pillow.
H-Dizzle says he and the other hosts don’t have any prior radio experience. (Really?)
DIZZLE: We just had a passion for it. I personally, I have been listening to Howard Stern since I was a little kid whenever I moved here – I moved here from India when I was a kid. And I didn’t really have any friends, I spoke with a big accent, my parents were never home, so that was kind of my role model growing up. That’s all I had to turn to.
HB: Howard Stern?
DIZZLE: I don’t know if you’ve ever listened to him. He’s not the kind of guy you think he is. It’s just not women and get naked that’s just what he does for half an hour a day for his TV show. He does a five-hour show. So, pretty stimulating, actually.
HB: Nice choice of words.
DIZZLE: Mentally stimulating. We don’t have any formal training. The show is pretty much about living our dream. It’s kind of what we’re doing – we’re living our dream of being in radio and bringing our listeners people that are living their dream.
Well, H-Dizzle says he’ll let us know if that dream comes true, you know, on whatever day they finally announce the winners.
— Dusti Rhodes
P.S: DIZZLE: If you are writing an article could you not put a negative slant on it or something, you know? That makes us look like a bunch of jerks or something – cause we’re not.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Houston, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.