A Man Who Just Does Not Have The Patience To Rob A Bank
NOTE TO CRIMINAL OVERLORDS: Do not hire this guy to rob any banks for you. If you do, give him some Ritalin or something.
Here's what the FBI has to say about this guy's attempt to rob the Chase Bank near 9300 Westheimer yesterday:
At approximately 6:10 p.m., the lone white male entered the bank and approached the teller station. He pulled out a small black semi-automatic pistol and said to the teller, "You know what this is."
The teller became very nervous and began fumbling for her drawer. She mistakenly pulled out an empty drawer, and explained that she had the wrong drawer and had to get the other drawer out.
The suspect became upset that the process was taking too long, and turned around and walked out of the bank
Oh, Generation X -- can you do nothing right?
At least he didn't snark something like "I thought this was the express line!!"
Official description of the man, minus any reference to his attention span or lack thereof:
The would-be robber is described by witnesses as a white male, 28-35 years old, 5'3"-5'6" tall, slender build, light complexion, with brown hair. He was wearing sunglasses on top of his head, a dark colored long sleeved shirt, and blue jeans.
Crime Stoppers is offering $5,000 for tips, but whatever you do, don't attempt to apprehend this guy yourself. He'll probably get bored and leave.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Houston Press' biggest stories.