There are certain word combinations in the English language that were just not meant to brush up against one another consecutively, and when they do, it feels like God is trolling us, trying to make us cringe. Colon scope, divorce court, cable outage. All good examples. But I defy you to find one that makes the male species frown and weep more than these two — groin surgery.
If I'm drafting parts of the body where a doctor is going to use anything sharp or even mildly piercing like a laser, the groin is Mr. Irrelevant. I'd rather walk through the rest of my life in burning pain than have a doctor doing any "fixing" down there. But I am not an NFL running back. Arian Foster is, and he needs his groin to work. On Monday, Foster's groin ripped, depending on where you seek your info, it may have been ripped "off the bone."
And so it is that Foster will have surgery on his shredded groin this Friday in Philadelphia, as first reported by ESPN.com's Adam Schefter:
Texans RB Arian Foster will undergo groin surgery in Philadelphia on Friday, source told ESPN.— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) August 5, 2015
Surgery almost certainly means Foster will miss the opening of the 2015 season, and in all likelihood, he will be placed on the short-term injured reserve, which would allow him to practice again as early as Week6 and return to games in Week 8. At this point, after the gloom and doom of yesterday, Foster missing eight games would feel like a win.
Texans head coach Bill O'Brien gave his first public comments on Foster's injury after a short practice day on Wednesday:
"He's going to miss some time, there's no doubt about that. We have no idea how much time he's going to miss. There's medical opinions that still need to take place. One thing I want to say about Arian is, you know, I feel bad for him personally. I think he came into this offseason and he really worked extremely hard, came back here and ran the conditioning test really, really well, came back in great shape, and he was practicing well. But, as a football team, it's next man up, next man up."
The process of replacing Foster (for the time being) began in earnest on Wednesday morning with the team working out former New Orleans Saint Pierre Thomas, as well as Ben Malena and Joe McKnight. It was thought that a deal with Thomas was imminent, however, he is clearly looking for more than the veteran's minimum that the Texans were offering:
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
#NFL Pierre Thomas had a great visit and work out with texans, unfortunately we were unable to agree on terms.— Lamont Smith (@CLamontSmith) August 5, 2015
The hot topic on talk shows around the country Wednesday was whether or not the Texans would sign former Baltimore Raven running back Ray Rice, who was suspended last season after a violent altercation with his wife in which surveillance video in an Atlantic City casino caught Rice drilling his wife in the face with a closed fist. Rice has paid his dues and is now reinstated, but he is understandably toxic right now. Honestly, I know the Texans will never entertain Rice as a candidate for this team, but they should. Rice's wife has clearly forgiven him for the incident last February, so if she is good with him finding work, then so am I.
For now, the depth chart at running back is Alfred Blue, Chris Polk, and seventh round rookie Kenny Hilliard. That's a crew whose names are enough to make "colon scope" and "divorce court" actually sound somewhat enticing.
Listen to Sean Pendergast on SportsRadio 610 from 2 p.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanTPendergast.