BATTLE-DRINK, Week 6: Last Schaub Standing
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I finally finished watching Breaking Bad this week. I was about three years late to the party in watching the show, and then a week or two late in watching the series finale.
I don't know if Breaking Bad wrests the title of "Best Series Ever" from The Sopranos for me yet. Rewatchability is a huge thing in my ratings system and obviously I've only watched Breaking Bad once, but it's certainly in the conversation.
I will say this -- it is the series that most left me wanting more, like it was still peaking when it ended.
And as I put this week's BATTLE-DRINK card together, I couldn't help but think that, from a BATTLE-DRINKing perspective, Matt Schaub of the last couple weeks is a lot like Walter White in those final few episodes -- on a severe downward spiral, while squaring all of his personal business by making his detractors die (In Matt's case, his detractors die from alcohol poisoning inflicted by his mistakes. In White's case, they die from the remote control machine gun in the trunk of his car.)
Rice Owls Football vs. Southern Miss
TicketsSat., Nov. 11, 2:30pm
Houston Texans vs. Arizona Cardinals
TicketsSun., Nov. 19, 12:00pm
Rice Owls Football vs. North Texas
TicketsSat., Nov. 25, 12:00pm
Houston Texans vs. San Francisco 49ers
TicketsSun., Dec. 10, 12:00pm
Houston Texans vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
TicketsMon., Dec. 25, 3:30pm
Let's hope that Sunday ends better than Breaking Bad for all of us, including Matt. Now, let's take a look at the additions to this week's card:
B4: Promo for "FOX Sports 1" Interconference game in an AFC venue so the NFC network (FOX) gets the game. FOX Sports 1 is, of course, the all-sports network that just launched around the beginning of football season, so I would imagine that heavy cross promotion is still part of the plan.
I1: Andre punch landed on Finnegan Andre Johnson and Cortland Finnegan hate each other, so for those of you more interested in the undercard of the game than the game itself, just know that there's an outside chance that it may not happen. Finnegan is dealing with a thigh injury, and Andre is supposedly a game time decision because of a shin bruise. So we may have to live with the video below being the final street fight between the two of them, which I suppose means Andre retains the title:
Bullock is 7 of 12 on field goals this season, and while most of his misses have been from long distance, 7 of 12 is still inexcusable. The kid gloves that Gary Kubiak is using with Matt Schaub have nothing on the kid gloves he's using with Bullock who gets a vote of confidence each week and zero threat of any competition for his job.
I5: BOOOOOO!!!!! God forbid there's another pick 6. The boos (and booze) will destroy you.
N5: Ben Tate fumble Buried under the rubble of Matt Schaub interceptions and Randy Bullock missed field goals, somewhere there lies a handful of Ben Tate fumbles, the latest one coming in garbage time against the 49ers (which was honestly pretty much everything after the first quarter). Classic Tate fumble, though. Just a careless lack of focus on finishing a play, the type of play a losing player makes. Tate is going to make a great Cleveland Brown.
G1: Schaub PICK 6 graphic shown G2: Any Schaub PICK 6 replay G3: Schaub burning jersey mention G4: "Fans in Schaub driveway" mention G5: Schaub PICK 6 actually thrown For the third consecutive week, Schaub gets ownership of the G column, with the big addition being the story of the "fans in Schaub's driveway," a story that has ranged from "It was one high school kid who cursed and drove away" to "It was an angry mob burning an army of Schaub mannequins on nooses while singing death metal songs. (NOTE: Literally, as I was typing this, Michael Irvin on the NFL Network just called a Pick 6 a "Schaub." I think I'd rather be known for my blue crystal meth, like Walter White. In the meantime, I think I'll got snort a few lines of "Irvin," funny guy.)
O1: Andre Johnson TD catch With Duane Brown back in the lineup, the "celebratory single shot" square goes from the left tackle to the star wideout and the hopes that Andre Johnson will finally get his first touchdown of the season. Of course, the team would need to actually target him in the end zone first probably. He's been targeted once there all season.
O2: John McClain tweets "wretched" O3: John McClain tweets "pathetic" O4: John McClain tweets about Baylor O5: John McClain tweets about Jon Weeks The John McClain tweet column is sprinkled with the usual imbibing on negative, trolly adjectives, but added to the mix this week, a topic that is impossible for McClain to be negative on -- Baylor Bear football! And his favorite Texan, long snapper Jon Weeks, is a Baylor Bear. He is most assuredly not pathetic!
Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 Yahoo! Sports Radio from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays and nationally on the Yahoo! Sports Radio network Saturdays from 10 a.m. to noon CST. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.
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