Bayer Aspirin Between Gals' Knees For Contraception? Now These Old Bayer Ads Make Sense
Foster Friess, the big-bucks donor to Rick Santorum's presidential hopes, went on TV talking about contraception today, because that is the most pressing issue facing the country.
"Back in my day, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly," he said.
Now, someone who uses the term "the gals" probably meant this all as an allegedly funny way of saying "keep your legs together and you won't get pregnant," but maybe not.
Maybe Bayer does have some magic contraceptive uses. In which case, these vintage ads finally make sense, sorta.
Rice Owls Mens Basketball vs. Louisiana Tech Bulldogs Mens Basketball
TicketsSat., Feb. 25, 7:00pm
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 10AM-6PM
TicketsSun., Feb. 26, 10:00am
Gridiron Glory: The Best of Pro Football HOF -- 10AM-3PM
TicketsMon., Feb. 27, 10:00am
Rice Owls Men's Baseball vs. Pepperdine Waves Men's Baseball
TicketsFri., Mar. 3, 6:30pm
The swingin' behatted dude in the middle is actually saying "Shit, they're both pregnant?!?" The woman on the left is trying to reassure him as he gets the hell out of there, yelling "Don't worry!! I have a Bayer aspirin!! I'm going to put it between my legs!!", while the woman on the right, sadly Bayer-less, has put on a hazmat suit in hopes of keeping all stray sperm away.
"It happens in two seconds!" Well, not if you're doing it right.
Lady, we don't care what your friends told you at that slumber party in sixth grade, you can't get pregnant with a blow job.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Houston, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.