Anytime there's a list involving annoying bugs or pests, you expect Houston to be making a bold bid for the title.
But exterminator giant Terminix has just released its list of the worst bedbug-infested cities in America, and Houston isn't on it.
We don't make the top 15. Which probably means we're number 16 with a bullet, but the list only goes to 15.
Dallas makes the list for the first time, coming in at....15. Which means the plague is probably headed our way, like obnoxious Cowboy fans.
And we shouldn't rest easy.
"This year's ranking gives credence to the fact that major American cities are certainly at risk, but bedbugs aren't found only in big, metropolitan areas," said Terminix's Paul Curtis. "You can find them almost anywhere, in any city or state."
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1. New York 2. Cincinnati 3. Detroit 4. Chicago 5. Philadelphia 6. Denver 7. Washington, D.C. 8. Los Angeles 9. Boston 10. San Francisco 11. Columbus, Ohio 12. Dayton, Ohio 13. Baltimore 14. Louisville, Ky. 15. Dallas
Vile, fetid cities, all of them, not like the pristine, hygienic Bayou City we call home. Please take note of this list if you plan on having houseguests from any of the above infected areas.
Especially Dallas, if they're Cowboy fans.