In case you missed it, universally reviled Arkansas football coach Bobby Petrino finds himself in a bit of a flap after a motorcycle accident.
He told his bosses he was riding alone, but it turns out his passenger was a young woman he'd hired for some vague job in the football program, and he acknowledged the old "inappropriate relationship."
Petrino is known far and wide for bailing out on teams in the sleaziest way possible, so there's a lot of schadenfreude going on.
We would never stoop to such depths, even though Texas, though A&M, is now officially SEC territory. But we will offer five examples of what Petrino's ride should have as a license plate, provided he registered in Texas.
5, Discretion, please.
Petrino gave his helmet to the woman -- partly, I guess, because it would have been awkward to leave his house carrying two helmets -- so asking Arkies who recognized him for a little help, if you know what he means, isn't a bad idea.
On the other hand, you can just tell everyone your passenger is just one of the perks that come with being an SEC football coach.
It can't hurt to advertise your won-loss record in the SEC for the past two years, since that's all that's keeping you from being summarily fired.
2, Ridin' Dirty
Girl, you ain't know, I'm crazy like Krayzie Bone; Just tryin' to make you horny, ain't tryin' to have no babies. Ride clean as hell so I pull in ladies.
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Bobby Petrino don't give a shit, suckaz. 21-5 SEC RECORD!!!!